The Truth

twenty six

*Alexia*

The flight from London to Atlanta is only nine hours, but it felt like days. The whole time I couldn't help but wonder but Riley must be thinking. His mother won't be there to read him a bedtime story while he sits in the hospital. I can only imagine what the boys must think of me now. Maybe one day things could be different, but I don't see that happening. For now, I'm more than happy to be with my sister.

So much has changed since I left. She's married now. My brothers have been just as lucky. I have nieces and nephews. But of course, not everything is quite as happy. In a small town like this, rumors grow quickly.

After I ran away, my mother shut down. She poured all her savings into funding a private investigation after the police gave up the search for me. She started drinking again for the first time since my dad left. Since I've come home, she's refusing to see me.

This morning, my sister is doing her usual "dance around the subject" routine. She's standing in the kitchen with her son teaching him how to make pancakes. She mentions Niall, but never by name. She asks questions, but not the right ones.

"So, when does the doctor think Riley can leave the hospital?" she asks.

"I talked to the doctor last night," I reply. "He's still healing up. The doctor doesn't seem to think I should fly him overseas. He'd rather have Riley stay there, so he can supervise his physical therapy."

"How long will he need?" she asks, still keeping that pleasant tone in her voice.

She's more like our mother than she would ever admit.

"Will you just ask me what you want to know already?" I groan, losing my patience. She pauses her stirring and picks her son up from the stool he was standing on to see the countertop.

"Sweetie, can you go find Daddy for me?" she asks him sweetly. "Let him know Mommy needs more eggs, okay? And you can go to the store with him."

"Okay, Mommy," he giggles as she kisses his cheeks. He runs off, leaving the two of us alone.

"I want to know why you've made the decision you have," she beings, crossing her arms. "We didn't have a dad. At least you didn't. The rest us, we remember what it's like to have one and then lose him. Why are willingly putting your own child through that?"

"Because his father, with his job, he cannot fully commit to being a father," I reply. "Or if he did, he would be forced to give up his dream and resent me and maybe even Riley."

"That's not the decision you made though. That would be all him," she sighs. "You are making the decision that your child does not get to have a father. He doesn't get to love him. He doesn't even get to hate him. In a few years, he won't even remember his father. He might remember bits and pieces, but he will never know who he is if you do this."

"I'm protecting him from any future pain," I say, standing up.

"You are being selfish and spiteful. Your idea of protecting Riley is a side effect," she scoffs. "Look I don't know who the father is or what he has done to you, but all you are doing is spiting him."

"You don't know anything," I sigh, walking towards the door. "I don't need this. I'm going for a walk."

She starts to say something, but she is cut off when I slam the door behind me. Even though I've been gone for years, navigating the streets in this small town comes naturally. At first, I cannot decide where I want to go, but I eventually settle on the bar just outside of town I used to spend time in. It's a long walk, and the fact that I have only a tee and some leggings on with no coat doesn't make it the best time.