The Boy Next Door

chapter 13 - reminicsing on the good times

I laid back on my bed. Tonight had been amazing. Austin and I connected on a different level. After he asked me out and I told him the story of my past we just talked and talked for hours. It got to 1 am before I got home, but I wasn't even tired because even though we'd been talking for ages, I was so genuinely interested in everything that was being said. It was like he was my caffeine. It was only tonight I realised that my feelings for him were more than just feelings. I love him, and when I told him I meant it with every single bit of my heart. I love him. I'd shout it to the world if I had to. He was mine now. All those other slags could suck it.

When I got home mum asked where I'd been (as any normal worried mother would). As soon as I told her she squealed and dragged me into the front room.
"Sooooooo?"
"So what?" I played dumb.
"So what happened?"
"Oh. Well. We talked"
" 'we talked' bullshit, tell me!!!"
I grinned.
"He asked me to be his girlfriend."
Cue my mum screaming like an Ariana Grande fan at an Ariana Grande concert.
"Omgomgomgomgomg. What did you say?!"
"I said yes...obviously"
Cue my mum screaming even more.
"Jeez Louise mum, chill."
"Chill? Chill?! I can't chill!!!!! Omg I totally ship Kaustin!"
"Kaustin? Really? You couldn't do any better?"
"Hey, it's hard okay! His name begins with a vowel!"
"Hold up...you 'ship' us? How do you even know what that means?"
"Hunny, I'm 36, not 76."
"Yeah but...still..."
"I was the same 20 years ago! And the word ship was around too. As in shipping names."
"Huh. Okay then."
"So what else happened?"
"I told him about...why I get so freaked out about boys and why I don't do boyfriends."
"Alex..?"
"Yeah."
"How'd he take it?"
"He was so supportive, he promised to be there for me, to help me heal, and to mend me, and I just melted. Mum, he's so perfect for me I can't even describe."
"You don't need to sweetheart. I had exactly the same feeling with your dad." Her eyes became soft and sad. "Kind, sweet, loving, understanding. Completely perfect for me." She said in a soft voice.

Tears pricked in my eyes. My dad was a sensitive subject for both me and my mum. Kyle doesn't remember him, but I remember him perfectly. Me and my dad had such a close bond. We did everything together. He took me to the park, helped me learn how to ride a bike, and we both had a love of video games.

But then he got ill. Really ill. I was 9 at the time. I just remember him collapsing, not being able to breathe. I remember the paramedics pushing me out of the way, not letting me see him. I remember screaming and crying at them, trying to get them to let me through. Next thing I knew he was being rolled away on a stretcher into the back of an ambulance. My mum drove me and (then 2 year old) Kyle behind the ambulance to the hospital.

We waited for hours and hours for news when the nurse walked out with a grave look on her face. My first thought was "he's dead. My daddy. Dead" the nurse asked to speak with mum in private. To this day she doesn't know this, but I pressed my ear up against the closet door they were in and I could hear every word.
"Is he dead?"
"No, no he's not dead, thank The Lord."
"Well then what's wrong?"
"Well, we're still running some tests but we have a vague idea..."
"Of what? Goddamnit woman tell me."
"We think your husband may have lung cancer"

I heard my mum collapse into a heap on the floor. I was just old enough to vaguely know what had happened. I had been learning about cancer and life threatening illnesses at school. I gasped and clamped my hand over my mouth. Cancer usually meant death. I knew that for a fact.

"Is he...a, you know...a h-hopeless..." She couldn't bear to finish the sentence.
"Yes. I'm so sorry Mrs O'Connor. He has had it for too long to be able to stop it now. It's too far along."
"I'm going to lose him. Aren't I? The first man I ever loved. Taken from me. Cruel fucking world. He may've been the first, but I promise you, I promise myself. He will also be the last man I love. As I will never love another like I love my Ollie."
And to this she broke down into a messy, crumpled, crying heap on the floor.

I ran away from the door and went and sat in a corner. I rocked myself back and forth to stop myself from crying but the tears came streaming down anyway.

He passed away 5 months later. I still haven't quite got over it. I don't think I ever will. I lost my best friend to an evil monster. And I will hurt forever. The pain never goes away, it just gets easier to deal with each day.

I curled up with my mum and we kind of just sat thee and reminisced on the good times we had with dad. Before we knew it we were in tears. Both of us.

"Do you love him?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you love him Kace?"
"Yes."
"How much?"
"There are no words to describe it. Every time I'm around him my heart wants to burst from happiness, and there's a dull yet noticeable ache when he's not around."
Mum paused as if thinking.
"Yeah girl, you definitely love him for real."
"I really do mum"
"I'm so happy for you baby girl"
"I love you mum"
"I love you too Kacey" she paused again. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"
"Yes. With all my heart. I know I can trust him, I know he won't hurt me, I know he loves me. I don't know how I know, but I just have this feeling. You know?"
"All too well sweetheart." She smiled and grabbed the TV remote. "Who's up for some Channing Tatum?" She asked excitedly.
"ME ME ME!!" I yelled, purposely over the top.

God I love my family.

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A/N
I quite like this chapter. You learn a lot more about Kacey and you see her sensitive side. I'm really trying to put across how much she lives Austin but the amount in my head is so difficult to put into words. You know?

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Sorry for the majorly slow updates, I'm just tired all the time. Haha.

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