Because I Wasn't Insane Enough Already

Chapter 14

Hello, my wonderful readers! I, unfortunately, have been afflicted with the dreaded writers' block! 

All: ...

**stage-whisper** You're supposed to gasp.

All: ...

Storme: Don't tell us what to do, Emo. 

Storme? I am sleep deprived, and I am out if ideas, and I am honestly sick of it. Totally sick. Of. It. So take your freaking smartarse attitude and shove--

Ulquiorra: *glares*

*run and hide*

Gin: Well, Emu's off hidin' in a corner, and KuroKun's not here right now, so...

Renji: Why is it always you?

Gin: Ain't that a question! Emu?

**from corner** ...'Cause I like writing your drawl. It's fun. 

All: Oh! THAT'S WHY! 

Gin: Yep! So all of yer, go an' comment! Or I'll Shinsou ya!

Aizen: ...Enjoy. *eye twitches*

STORME'S POV

"Ulquiorra?" I asked, deceptively calm. I leaned against the doorframe, my face an emotionless mask.

"Yes?" He was less wary than he should have been. This would soon change.

"Why did you come form the left hallway this time? If I'm not mistaken, you usually come from the right hallway. Could there possibly be something you're not telling me?"

"No," he said, turning away.

"Oh, but, Ulquiorra, dear, I think you're lying. Is that the case?" I asked, walking over to him and looking up so we were nose-to-nose. "Isn't there someone else in Las Noches about now? Someone quite..." I made the appropriate motions with my hands, "developed?" The Cuarta flushed.

"It's not what you think," he began. 

"You are dropping by ORIHIME GODDAMNED INOUE'S room for extensive periods of time, returning late and with your hair all--" I made more hand motions, "shooshed (A/N: New word, OMG!) and I am supposed to think...what, exactly?"

 "Look, I can walk you there and prove that there is nothing going on between me and Inoue. Would you like that?"

"I can walk myself."

Turned out, I actually couldn't  walk myself. Neither I or Moeru knew the way, and this complicated things. Until I walked into some Arrancar. Not just any Arrancar, mind you. Loly and Menoly. Lemme repeat that. LOLY AND MENOLY.

Yeah...

No...

Oh, shit.

"Aren't you the new Arrancar?" Menoly asked, turning to me. 

Oh, shit!  "Yeah..."

"You look lost."

"Yeah..."

"Loly!" Oh, crap. Didn't they beat Orihime senseless? 

'Isn't that the reason you're here, dumbass?' Moeru drawled scathingly. 

Ohh...yeah! I knew that.

Loly talking pulled me out of my argument with Moeru Hana. "Hey! What're you looking for?" My mouth curled into a sly smile.  "I think we can help each other out." 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Back in my room, I rummaged around in my closet, looking for-- "A-ha!" I held the blue-green canvas bag up triumphantly. I had been holding it when I fell through here. "Duct tape for you," I handed Menoly a roll of bright green duct tape, "and a Swiss Army knife for you," I handed it to Loly, "And for me? These!" I declared, pulling a set of tonfa out of the bag. 

"Why the hell are there tonfa in your bag?"

"It's my sister's bag," I explained.

"And she carries tonfa?"

"Oh, you do not know my sister."

Menoly and Loly left it at that. Smart girls.

Since I couldn't navigate through Las Noches worth craaaaap, Loly led the way. "So why are you pissed at the human?"

"Umm...can't answer that. But do her and Ulquiorra have a thing going?" I turned away, blushing. 

"Well," Menoly cut in, "Gin, Cirucci, Szayel and Grimmjow think so, but Nnoitra, Halibel, all her fraccion, Stark, and Tousen think not."

 "But everyone's heard about you and Ulquiorra!" Loly chirped. They have? SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT...

When we got to Orihime's room, I was thoroughly livid. Namely at Gin, Cirucci, Szayel, Grimmjow and... "Fricking Orihime," I muttered.

"Fricking Orihime," the two agreed. I frowned, then pushed on the door, to no avail. 

"Give me a hand?" 

"It's a pull door." I flushed. 

"Doesn't mean you have to pull it..."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BANG! The bala blew the door off its hinges, and then some. I grinned a frightening grin that laid somewhere between carnivorous animals and deranged psycho killers. "Oh, Inoue~! Come out, come out, wherever you are~"

"Huh? Ulquiorra?" I rolled my eyes. 

"I regret to inform you that this is not Ulquiorra. It is with the same regret that I am unable to wish you the best of luck in your discontinued endeavors to contact your...friend."

"Huh?"

"STAY. AWAY. FROM. ULQUIORRA."

"Menoly!" Loly barked, wielding her duct tape in a most intimidating manner. 

"I know, right?" The three of us grinned, shared a look...and attacked.