Slow Death

| t h i r t y - f i v e |

In The End by Black Veil Brides✖

When you thought she would be able to smile because of you

When you had high hopes and expected that she would be there for you too

But then you realise, you're just a helpless, hopeless and lifeless saviour

This loneliness will stay forever, whispers the mind

Her life is already up and down like harsh crashing waves

Why bother her with your devil

You gotta fight it yourself, even though it's useless

No one was there for you, and no one is sweetheart, whispers the devil of my mind, every night

I don't wanna be cared, be important, be loved, be understood, be cherished

I don't want all that, I'm gonna let the devil win

Yes, I'm lonely, depressed, sad, ugly, good-for-nothing, sensitive, hopeless, helpless, clueless

I don't want help, I don't want you, I don't want anyone, I can't save anyone, I'm just a teen ; a fucked-up-for-life teen

I'm strong or not, I'm still living

I am just present, but I'm there for you? I don't know, if you need me

I don't understand, I'm sorry
Maybe I'm not made to understand people's grief

I can't save you either because I have no means to do so

I'm sorry but if I can't help myself then it's pointless to be helping you

Am not pinpointing anyone please, this is not for anyone here
It's just my feelings

Reality just slapped me

I'm a teenager, I'm 14 and I live life as it goes. Sad, torn, hurt, fucked up, insane, shit or whatever it is, I know I deserve it somehow. I'm just someone you know, treat well or badly as you wish. Hurt or praise me, it makes nothing in me, it doesn't affect me in any way. Whether I am dying inside but I can't cry and whether you read it but don't understand a fuck about it, makes no difference to me. Loneliness and happiness are two separate worlds for me. But I know one thing for sure, that I'm writing to myself.

Hi, I'm a teen with a life. That's all.