Quick A/N: I know it seems like I like Peter. I don't. I don't like what he did to his best friends and, more importantly, to Harry. He should have come clean before things escalated. But I don't think he was all bad, just like no one is all good. I truly do think he loved them, at least at one time. But I think the guilt that he feels and will continue to feel is as good a punishment I can give him for right now. Now, on with the story!
Peter admitted to himself that no matter how quickly they forgave him, falling back into place with the friends he'd considered brothers for a long time was going to be hard. He'd really mucked things up with James and Sirius, and while Remus was very forgiving, that kindness that he showed only to Peter was enough to make him feel so guilty that he was nearly sick.
It would be so much easier if he really hated them. If he really didn't want to be their friend.
They'd accepted him immediately, years ago now. They'd protected him, given him a friendship he'd never dreamed he could have. Together, they'd made Sirius feel like he really did belong in Gryffindor. Together, they'd kept James (at least a bit) grounded. Together, they'd helped their best friend and resident werewolf, Remus, feel like he belonged at Hogwarts; made him feel not so much like a monster.
Together, they made sure that each of them had a place in their little group. It was certainly an odd mix, but they were a family. Peter certainly hoped that nothing would ever change that, but he knew better.
He'd be cast aside as soon as they'd found out.
But for now, it was easy to pretend that he wasn't a double agent.
They'd accepted him back slowly at first. At the meeting, he'd kept his distance, but on the way back to their dormitories, Peter found the courage to speak up.
"R-Remus?"
It was only Peter, Remus, and Sirius in the hallway, seeing as James had, quite literally, ran after Lily. For what he didn't really want to know.
Remus had paused, but it was Sirius who whirled around on his heel and fixed Peter with a glare. Seeing as Sirius was enraged and knowing that things could go from bad to worse very quickly, Remus put a little pep in his turn and raised a brow.
"Peter?"
Remus was talking to him, at least. That was a start.
"I'm sorry."
"Shove it." Sirius made to storm off, but Remus grabbed him by the middle and pulled him back, hissing in his ear.
"He's apologizing. Hear him out, he is our friend."
Sirius merely crossed his arms and fixed Peter with a glare as Remus tried to be 'rational.' How Sirius hated that word.
"L-look, I've been a r-royal pr-rat, a-and I'm sorry. C-can we s-start this year o-over?"
Remus softened. "Sure, Peter."
Sirius bit his lip, obviously not liking this idea but thinking better of going off on his friend in the middle of the hallway. "We were just going to the kitchens. Moony wants chocolate."
A sharp elbow to the ribs stopped Sirius from saying anything else, and Peter gave a small smile.
"S-sure."
*~*~*
"He said what?!"
"Marlene!" Lily hissed. "Be quiet!"
The red head tugged the blonde back down and back onto the stair that she, Marlene, and Alice occupied. It was their free period, and, seeing as it was a Friday, it was time for girl talk. What better place for such things than an abandoned stairwell?
"I'm sorry, Lils. I just...that's the first time I think he's ever seriously said that to someone outside of his family."
Marlene would know; she'd practically grown up with James.
Lily groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Oh, that just makes things worse."
"Why?" Alice was honestly confused. "Didn't you say it back?"
"I did." Lily sounded disgusted with herself. "And I went and kissed him, too."
"Did you not mean it?" Marlene sounded a little angry.
"Of course I meant it!" Lily's face went as red as her hair. "It's just...I'm afraid. I'm afraid because I've admitted it now." Marlene sighed and rested her head on Lily's shoulder, and gave her arm a light squeeze.
"Don't worry, Lils." She soothed gently. "He obviously loves you. Things will be fine."
Alice nodded in agreement and took Lily's hand, giving it a squeeze as well to get the girl's attention. Lily looked up and Alice gave a small smile.
"I think it's high time for a girls night, don't you?"
*~*~*
Lily blinked slowly.
"A guys' night?"
If there was anything she hadn't counted on going wrong that night, it would have been this. Sure, she knew guys liked to get together and have a few drinks, then, she assumed, go off on their own. What she hadn't expected was that guys liked to get together, and, just like she would with her friends, camp out in a large room and stay up until ungodly hours talking about God knows what.
A strange look had been etched onto James' face and Lily immediately felt guilty.
"I mean, if it's going to be a problem..."
"No, no." She rushed. "We're both just really bad at planning things. The girls were wanting to have a girls night tonight, but since there are more of you all you guys can have the common room and we'll take my room." Although he wasn't a Marauder, Frank would be joining them since Alice had been "otherwise occupied" and he didn't fancy having the dorm to himself. He wasn't scared; he just didn't like being alone.
And it would be a horrible move to not include him in a night of fun, according to Remus. The others quickly agreed.
It was James' turn to look guilty. "How about you all join us?"
Lily bit her lip. "I really need girl time, just us. But we'll plan a thing for next weekend, okay?"
James nodded and gave her a small smile. "That gives Sirius time to smuggle in some more Firewhiskey. Let's do it."
"James!" She hissed in mock anger. "You are head boy!"
"And you're head girl. I thought that had already been discussed."
Lily playfully smacked him on the arm. "Tell him to get plenty. Marlene really likes the stuff."
James took a step closer to her, grinning as he traced her face with his finger. "You mean, you really like the stuff."
Her breath caught and she tried to laugh a little. "Maybe."
"I'll remember that."
And with that his lips were on hers and Lily forgot why she had ever doubted her decision to tell him she loved him, too.
A/N: I had planned to do their sleepovers in this chapter, but I wanted to get this up as quickly as possible since I didn't get to update on Halloween like I wanted to. :( Next chapter should be a bit longer! :)
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Prongs and Lilypad
Fanfiction{Prequel to Raised by Canines} It's 1994. James Potter, Lily Evans, and the rest of the gang are entering their final year at Hogwarts while a war is brewing in the wizarding world. Join James as he struggles with the guilt of not already being out...