Wild is the Wind

Old New Faces

QSong for this chapter is feelings sung by Ella Fitzgerald which breaks my heart. Not a completely sad chapter just Cas going through some hard self conflict.

Also the song Dean is gonna play on his
Guitar is Angel by Matt Nathanson. Or something

Enjoy

Castiel

I smelled something very good, which caused me to sit up and look over at the mahogany night stand holding a clock which read 2:23.

I had slept for a long while. Not only that but good.

My phone was vibrating in my bag. Against my better judgement I looked at it.

37 missed calls from Dolan<3

I never got a break. I decided to listen to one of the voicemails just to make sure he was okay.

"Um Castiel. I don't know if you are even gonna listen to this.

Dammit, anyway I know where you are. And I know why you are there and it was my fucking fault. Jesus, it was my fault. Not all my fault though. I don't understand why you enjoy pushing my limits. Blue bird I love you so much it hurts. I miss you, and I want you even though I know I'm not what you need.

Anyway, remember when you promised you would love me no matter what, well that worked out well didn't it. I mean, I still love you and I can already feel how empty it is without you. You're my life, my sun, my blue bird. And you fucking don't care. And that hurts worse than any bruise or broken bone.

I need you blue bird, like I always have. But I guess promises don't mean anything to you.

You are just like everyone else. Cold and heartless and unforgiving. I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted but if I can't have you why should anyone else.

But you know if that guy ever did love you he's in for it because you ruin lives Cas.

Well I'm gonna get off here. See you very soon."

I didn't want to feel.
I was scared out of my mind and there was a man I had just met cooking food who I am pretty sure I don't deserve.

So when I walked into the kitchen, I didn't say a word.

"Morning Angel."
Dean smiled and continues flipping pancakes.

I couldn't speak. The first reason was because emotion was holding my tongue and the other was watching Dean cook.

He set a cream plate with purple designs in front of me.

"Do you like penut butter on your pancakes?"

"I'm allergic..."

"OH SHIT."

I watched Dean scramble around the kitchen putting up all of the jars of penut butter into a tip top cabinet.

"Sorry for trying to kill you."

"It's fine," I laughed at him.

We ate our pancakes on the couch silently.

Dean looked at me. And kept looking at me.