Wild is the Wind

Is This Goodbye?

The song above is beautiful and tears my heart out every time Drown by Front Porch Step

Omg guys have you guys heard Alexander Hamilton ??? It's a musical give it a chance PLEASE I NEED SOMEONE TO FANGIRL WITH

Okay sorry for yelling  lol enjoy :)

Castiel

"Cas are you sure everything is alright between you and Dean? I mean, you've eaten two pints of cookies and cream today...by... yourself."

Anna had been asking this same question for about two days. I just smiled and waved her off. No things are not okay between us. The pain I felt kept me up and I haven't slept. My brain feels foggy and alert simultaneously and my chest feels physically empty while I have heart burn.

I sighed shifting on my bed staring at the window, " I just need... more ice cream." It began to drizzle, and I relished the way it sounded on the metal roof.

"Okay, I'm going to get more cookies and cream..."

"What?" I asked after her intense staring.

"Oh, nothing, I'll be back soon my little ice cream eating drama queen, stay put."

I watched her shut my door and immediately sighed in relief.  I was now alone upstairs; I let tears flow down my face. They somehow felt empty, an empty relief. I had been on the edge of crying for about 26 hours straight, lack of sleep making it worse.

I checked my phone again, still no messages from Dean. It was painful, and humiliating.

I felt stupid because this was a little bit of my fault. At the same time I was ashamed; after all I've been through and I just had to go fall in love.

I looked at the rain, and I actually smiled. The storm made me feel understood in a way, like the chaos in my head reflected outside.

I wish it would rain harder, so I could lose myself in the sound. Rain so loud that his voice would drown.

Dean

Sitting in the parking lot of a store, beer in my hand, I sat wishing for something.

Wishing for an angel.  I actually found myself praying in the back of my nut job of a brain for someone to talk to besides my potato best friend.

God, this was a new low for me. It had been days since any word from my- I mean Cas.

Just Cas.

I was feeling even more gross after Charlie proved it was my fucking fault.
Cas is right, but at the same time he needs to give me the time to figure it out.

I didn't mean to shutdown on him. I'm just a functioning idiot.

It is 6:36. I'll wait four more minutes for my angel.

6:37, 6:38, 6:39-

"YOUR IN BIG MOTHERFUCKING TROUBLE."

A red haired woman grabbed my hair through the window.

"CHARLIE?!" I yelled.

"guess again."

Oh shit. This is definitely not Charlie.

"Let go of me you crazy bitch!"

I feel her fingers let go of my hair.

"That fucking hurt, Jesus, what's your problem."

Anna. Shit.

"First of all its queen mother fucking boss ass bitch to you, second, WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO TO CAS?"

"Nothing, why is he okay?" I lied, drumming my fingers on the dash.

"I'm getting him another pint of ice cream at the store."
She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"Problem?"

"He's eaten five."

When her face popped into the hood of my car I got afraid for my life. I've killed people and I'm scared I'm going to die at the hands of Cas's sister.

"So you are going to explain right fucking now or I'm gonna cut off your dick understood?"

I swallowed, hard.

"Umm... I plead the fifth??" I asked more than stated.

That's when I met Harriet. She's a knife and very scary despite her name.

"Dean. Tell me."

Guess I was gonna spill my guts before Harriet and the crazy bitch did it for me.
"We got into a fight the other day, about Cas meeting my family."

"Literally, that's it?"

I just nodded in silence.

"You two are the biggest idiots on earth-"

"-but-"

"-you could be partying it up on Uranus but know you want to be an idiot and not call him and work it out."

I hate it when random chicks with knives are right. Really gut punches my ego.

"I'll leave you alone on one condition."

I guess I sorta laughed," And what's that?"

"You call him tonight,
and work it out."

She was right, I needed to call him. I guess I have put him through hell. He's the best thing that's happened to me.

"I'm gonna call him."

"YAY! GOTTA GET TEN BUCKS FROM GABRIEL AND TELL HIM THE GAY IS A GO!"

Anna kissed me on the cheek and strolled into the grocery store.

I sighed and put my head on the wheel.

If I married Cas I would be marrying into a hell of a crazy family.

"That your girlfriend?" I looked up, and out the window was a guy in sweats and a stained tank top was looking at me.

"No, it's my boyfriends sister." I yelled back to the homeless looking guy.

He laughed at me, which turned into a cough.

"Even worse, want some weed?"

"Umm-no. I think I'll pass this time." I smiled awkwardly back.

"Well I'm always here."

Oh mycroft

I seriously need to call Cas.

Don't want to end up dead, or like that guy.