Wild is the Wind

El Vino

IM SO VERY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING.
IM A BAD AUTHOR I KNOW I KNOW BUT IF IT HELPS IVE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT.
My phone decided to fucking break and I needed to get a new one.

I have it now and it's just been a busy summer.

Everything is fine.

Castiel

Dean had said this evening; I was wringing my hands sitting on the back porch.

What was going to happen? I mean I have an idea that we might talk things out; but what if we don't. I mean maybe I shouldn't be in a relationship. Yet, I'm afraid of losing him, and I'm afraid to love him. I'm afraid to trust someone to love me.

If he decided to leave, I can get on with my life and try to get over him. Maybe get over him.

Footsteps interrupted my thoughts, and I turned to see my sister holding a plate.

"I brought some snacks; PB and J sandwiches cut into squares."

I almost laughed a little as Anna sat down the plate on the table in front of the porch swing.

" A bit childish don't you think Anna."

"I think you both are childish. You deserve to be happy, and to do that you need to work and try. And you need to let him love you," she paused and sat down beside me, placing her hands on mine, " Let yourself be loved, don't push him away because your afraid, because you will regret it."

Something in her pale green eyes pained my chest. I figure there is more to her story of getting knocked up and just being left alone.

She got up and left me alone to the setting sun and the PB and Js.

Since it was getting darker outside I decided to light the candles inside the glass lanterns hanging and sitting around the porch. The warm glow felt relaxing, calming the uneasiness I was feeling.

I looked at my phone which read 7:30. He should be here by now.

Now I was starting to get nervous.

" Mr. Novak I don't think who ever it is, is coming."

I felt humiliated, this was a set date between us and he made the reservations.

" Can you give me just a few more minutes?"

" I'm sorry, but we are very busy and we need your table."

That was the first time I had actually been really drunk. I found a bottle of American honey and drank half the bottle. I sat in our bedroom alone. He didn't come home until late the next day, obviously hung over, like myself. It was our two years anniversary. I never remember feeling so humiliated, and so human.

The doorbell rang, which was confusing, because Dean knew that he could just walk to the back.

I opened the door to see Dean's corny smile. "Did someone order pizza."

"What's with you and pizza?"
He just smiled as we walked to the back porch.

The sun was now further down, the sky was orange and pink.

We sat down on the porch swing, taking bites of our pizza and sandwiches, when Dean finally decided to talk. I swallowed as he intently locked his green eyes on mine. His eyes were melting me, and honestly I don't know if I can stay mad.

He took a breath

"Look, Cas..."

Dean