Wild is the Wind

Secrets

Sorry for not writing lol
I've been in hangover mode... XD
Seriously don't get drunk it's not worth it and your problems are gonna be there when your sober.

Dean

We laid on my bed out of breath. God, why would anyone even think about leaving Cas. The sex is fucking great. And he's fucking great.

"You realize hot angry sex is not gonna fix anything."
Cas turned and looked at me with those blue eyes, trying to figure me out.

I fucking sighed, "Yep."

We laid there in silence for a little bit. Cas took in a gasp of air like he was gonna say something.

"Cas just spit it out already geez."

His eyes was what had me worried cause he looked worried. That look made my skin itch.

"Cas, I'm not gonna just up and leave because you are speaking your mind, so make like a banana and, well do what ever the fuck bananas do when they have to get something off their chest."

He started laughing and I made a look of 'what the hell' and he explained that he couldn't even take me serious.

I inched closer to him and I felt him shiver a bit when I neared his ear. "Why so serious?"

"You disgust me."

"I know."

We laughed for a little and after that I looked at Cas as usual. He then decided to spill his guts.

"Look... Dean. I can't deal with secrets. Dolan never even let me near his family, never told me where he was going and kept secrets. I'm out of that now and I'm not going to put up with that from anyone even someone I love."

Love? What did that mean?

"Love?" I sorta squeaked.

He nodded, his eyes and lips giving me this mushy feeling.

I sighed. "Cas I'm not trying to keep secrets I just have a past that I don't feel like bringing you into."

For some reason hurt flashed in his eyes. "Okay." Cas finally said. "But people who love each other are actively in both parts of each-others lives. I want to help you through that. If you love me as you say you would let me in..."

Now I was agitated. "Well if you love me you will understand that I don't want you in that part of my life."

Wait. That wasn't how I meant for that to come out.

"You know what guess it doesn't matter what I am saying, Dean. Since you only want me in secluded parts of your life maybe I shouldn't be in any of them."

"You are making this more complicated than it seems-"

"I'm gonna get dressed and go home."

"Okay fine whatever."

..........(time skip doo wee doo)

Castiel

So this is how it's going to be. Well I simply refuse to deal with it.

I don't quite understand why Dean is shutting down on me, does he think I'm going to hurt him?

After some more disagreements Dean finally just decided to tell me to call Anna and he had to go "drive somewhere to get away from this" which pretty much meant me.

So I called Anna, told her nothing was wrong Dean just had work to do and she came and picked me up.

"Cas, I'm not gonna just up and leave because you are speaking your mind..."

So much for that. Those words  echoed in my head as I watched him pull away in his car.

That's when I got pissed and kicked a bench. It hurt. So then I almost broke down and cried.

No he would never leave because I spoke my mind.

Well he just did.