Lapis and Peridot

Lapis Lazuli, you were so mad...

[Peridot's POV]

I don't know what came over me, but I didn't think twice before I did what my mind was whispering to me to do: I opened the barrier, stepped into the cell, and picked up Lazuli's fallen gem. It was definitely totally out of character, and I certainly wouldn't have done it if I had thought about it for even a moment. By the time I gave the idea a second review, it was just about too late for regrets; the gem was pinched between two of my floating touch-stumps and I was walking through the corridors of the giant ship, keeping a sharp eye out for Jasper. No Jasper was anywhere in sight, and I made it to the control room without any trouble. That room was basically where I spent all my time, so it was, in a sense, "my room".

The instant I got there, I regretted my choice of picking up Lazuli's gem. What had incited me into taking it? It wasn't my property, I hadn't been given permission- suddenly I realized how ludicrous that was; Lazuli was my prisoner, and I didn't need permission, as she was under my command - still, something inside me felt a little bit ashamed when I thought about my taking advantage of the size and powerlessness of the blue gemstone. For a while, I simply stood in the center of the room, ignoring my surroundings and just observing the gemstone. It was a perfect teardrop shape, smooth and shiny, a pretty shade of blue. Pretty? No, no, I couldn't think like that! It was, it was interesting. Yes, interesting was the right word. It caught the light- just so- and shimmered slightly...

After a while my thoughts turned to Lazuli herself. What would she think if she knew I was examining her gem like this? I shuddered to think of it. She probably hated me, me and Jasper both - I had certainly given her reason to do so, and normally I wouldn't care about anygem's opinion of me. But something inside of me wanted the slender blue gem to like me. Part of me wanted to be kind to her, to teach her about Homeworld, to laugh with her, to learn first-hand what it was like 5000 years ago when Lazuli was still alive-

I shook my head. I was getting carried away again. I suppose I should put this gem somewhere safe, was my next thought. Somewhere Jasper can't run across it by accident. But think as I might, I eventually figured that the only place that was definitely safe from Jasper was with me, in the control room. Jasper didn't like coming in, claiming it was a boring room and had nothing interesting in it, and I myself - Peridot - was the least interesting of everything inside. I didn't mind her disinterest. I had been paired up with Jasper by the Authority. I had not requested it, nor did I enjoy it. She was violent and overzealous and acted before she thought, or often didn't think at all. I decided she was just about the opposite of me. But that's not true, I told myself. I took Lazuli's gem without thinking. Oh, what was I going to do now?

I'll just have to keep the gem with me, was my conclusion. And when Lazuli reforms... I suppose I'll just have to trap her again. But I can't leave her to the mercy of Jasper, the clod, and leaving her alone for even a minute will do so. I'll track Jasper, so when she comes near here, I can hide the gem.

I can't help but wonder... what would Lapis say if she knew what I was doing? Once again, I caught myself thinking of the gem in an informal way. But really, I reflected, if I couldn't keep myself from taking a gemstone, how could I stop myself from thinking in a certain way? It was hopeless. I sighed quietly and finally stirred from my stock-still stance in the middle of the room. The next minute I was sitting in my magnetically-suspended comfort-seat, and the minute after that I had put the shiny blue gem down on a pillow and placed the pillow on a floating platform. Really, everything was so fast and efficient when technology had a part in it! That was the reason I liked Homeworld so much: everything was the very image of speedy and effective, with no blips, no mistakes. It was just perfect, just like everygem always told me I should be. After all, I was a Peridot. A technician. Sure, I was a higher-ranking Peridot than most, but in the end, I was just another worker striving for perfection. Homeworld was my role model, in a sense. That was the main reason I tried to control my thoughts and feelings, tried not to give way to impulses, and tried not to show emotion. I had always been told emotions muddled gems up, confused them, made them weak, made them imperfect. I didn't want to be like that.

So I fought emotions and feelings and impulses and... look where that got me. I snorted. Doing exactly what I shouldn't be doing: feeling emotions, giving way to my feelings, and acting on impulses. I'm so weak. Frustrated, I diverted my thoughts from the issue, opening my touchscreen and scanning the ship for signs of life. There, pacing a corridor halfway across the ship from where I was: a large figure. I zeroed in on the spot and watched the screen. Yes, that was Jasper. Now... I started tapping in commands. Yes, I knew what I was going to do.

When I looked up from my screen about fifteen minutes later, I had set a sort of alarm that would notify me when Jasper was within a certain distance to the entrance to the control room, thus giving me enough time to punch in the controls that would hide the platform containing the pillow and Lazuli's gem. No sooner had I finished the work when the alarm beeped; glancing at the screen I saw that Jasper was coming my way. Quickly now, quick, there's no time to lose... and there, Lazuli was safe.

I gulped as Jasper entered the control room, face contorted into a frown.

Lazuli was safe... but was I?