Monster

Twenty-Five

The next morning, I woke to the sound of my phone ringing on the nightstand. I jumped out of bed and scrambled for it. It was still dark out. Even the neighbor's porch light wasn't on. So the light of my phone was glaringly bright. I didn't recognize the number. But scammers and debt collectors didn't call this early. I hated taking unknown calls, but I was in this situation because of an unknown number. So I pressed accept and brought it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Kitchen, now," the voice snapped. Like they were already angry with me.

"What? My kitchen?"

"Now." Then he hung up.

My heart was racing, and I flung the covers off and hurried to turn on the light. If someone was in my kitchen, I didn't want to meet them wearing pink gingham pajamas. So I pulled on some jeans and tucked the sparkly knife into my back pocket. I could hear voices downstairs when I stepped into the hall. It could have been Hydra, except that I could hear Steve answering someone. And he sounded calm. So I crossed the hall and tapped on the guestroom door.

"Bucky? Are you awake?"

There was no answer. I pushed the door open and peeked inside. The room was empty, and the bed was made. But the room still smelled like his soap, and the pillow was rumpled from sleep. He at least tried to stay the night.

"Great," I muttered to myself. Then I hurried down the stairs to see who was demanding to meet with me in my own kitchen.

There was a group waiting for me under the dim fluorescent lights. Sam, Steve, and Romanoff were standing around the small space with their arms crossed. Nick Fury was seated comfortably at the kitchen table like a king. I stopped short in the doorway. Nearly so fast I had to brace myself on the arch.

"Director Fury?" I asked. "I thought you were dead."

"Almost," he said. He got to his feet tenderly, as if everything hurt. "What the hell did you do?" I looked at the other faces. Sam and Steve both appeared apologetic, like they didn't want to be involved in this. Romanoff was back to studying me like I was a specimen in a jar.

"What do you mean?" He roughly set his hands on the table, which looked like it was more meant to brace him, rather than intimidate me.

"You blew your own cover."

"The job was to get Bucky to make contact with Steve, which he did. My job was to help them, which is what I'm doing."

"Your job was to be a prop. You were supposed to stand in the background while Rogers handled the situation." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Last I checked, I wasn't taking orders from you anymore. Or anyone else, for that matter. I'm not getting paid for this job. Therefore, you don't get to choose how I do it. Bucky came to me, and I did exactly what I was told to do. I played the part I was assigned. It wasn't my fault he came to me first, but I still did what I had to do to get him to talk to Steve. I made sure he was safe."

"It's not his safety I'm worried about. I'm worried about the safety of everyone else." I saw Steve flinch from the corner of my eye.

"He's not a monster, Fury. He's just a man, and he's responsible for as many deaths as you are."

"Excuse me?" he asked, his head cocked to the side just a tad. That's when I finally took in the way he looked. Beat and bruised and dressed like a civilian. I probably wouldn't even have given him a passing glance on the street.

"Bucky didn't know what he was doing. He didn't have a choice. And he's trying to be better. You still keep making excuses for why you had guns pointed at half the planet."

"My job is to protect this planet."

"Was," I pointed out. "And an excellent job you did with that, right? Bucky didn't know. And couldn't consent. His job didn't almost end the lives of thousands of people. My sister included."

"I want you off the job. I want you to cease contact with Barnes immediately." I was exhausted and irritated. And all I could do was laugh. It was loud and quick and full of contempt more than joy.

"You honestly think that'll work? He's better than any of you at finding someone hidden. He'll find me no matter where you send me. And I think pissing him off probably isn't the best way to handle this. I blew my cover to gain his trust, but he already knew anyway. So your plan failed. And mine didn't. I've had more contact with him than anyone since SHIELD fell. I know what I'm doing, and I don't work for you anymore."

"No, you work at a diner. And I can still put a perimeter around your house."

"She's the only one who can get through to him," Steve said in my defense. "If you put a barrier between them, you'll risk tearing down all the work she's done." Fury cut his eyes to Steve.

"With all due respect, Captain, Agent Hayes shouldn't have been cleared for this job in the first place. She isn't emotionally stable enough to handle something like this. I thought that would be taken into consideration before you offered her the job. Her therapist advised me to put her behind a desk where I could keep an eye on her. Severe PTSD, prone to violent outbursts, and suffers from regular memory lapses."

I gritted my teeth and shifted from one foot to the other. I knew they'd probably read my files thoroughly before considering me. Still, I didn't like having my dirty laundry just hanging out for everyone else to see.

"With all due respect," Steve repeated. "That's why Bucky reached out to her in the first place. She understands him. If you take that link away from him, you're potentially putting a lot of people's lives on the line."

"It's okay, Steve," I said, hands on my hips. I appreciated that he was trying to defend me, but Fury obviously had it out for me. "Fury didn't expect me to succeed. I was just bait. He's not angry that I blew my cover. He wanted to prove that Bucky was dangerous to innocent people, so he had an excuse to take him out. He's angry that Bucky proved him wrong. But he isn't dangerous unless you make him dangerous. So I'll keep working with him regardless of whatever orders you give me. I know I'm not emotionally stable, but Steve's right. That's exactly why Bucky and I work so well together."

And also, probably, why we were bonding when we shouldn't be. Because we recognized ourselves in each other. Our situations weren't the same by a long shot. But we still shared common traumas. We understood being detached from the rest of the world.

Fury leaned on his knuckles against the table and glared at me with one dark eye. His anger made the room feel smaller than it was, and I hated that he was trying to point the finger of blame at Bucky. Fury was known for bending the rules when he thought it was justified. But for whatever reason, he couldn't look past what Bucky had done to him. He was letting his own personal bias cloud his judgment. He wanted to make an example out of Bucky.

But Fury would cave. Because if there was one thing he was good at, it was putting his trust in his team. And I might not be part of it, but Romanoff trusted me. Steve trusted me. And that might just be enough.

"If he kills anyone," he said slowly. "A single person, a damn dog. It's on you." I nodded quickly.

"I won't let that happen."

"You better hope you're right."

"I will be. Now, if you don't mind, please get the hell out of my kitchen. And ring the fucking doorbell next time." I turned and marched back down the hall.