Apologies

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter 16

(A/N)-- I had an authors note, it got deleted. Basically it said follow me on twitter @Hi_Im_Boring and that this chapter is bad but the next one will be good. KK Vote, comment, and fan. LOVE YOU BYEEE

I sat on my bed, my head resting on my pillow. Rose. i couldn't believe I didn't remember her at first. She was the girl that stood up for me, at least at the beginning. That only lasted an hour, I remembered it perfectly now. Harry had made her see my flaws as every other person had seen so clearly before her. I know what you're thinking, she only commented on my hair. You're wrong. She didn't just do that. She was almost as bad as Harry at one point of my life. I twirled a piece of my hair in my hand, I always did that when I thought. Not to attract guys like people usually assumed, it was just a habit. I sighed, my mind going back to the day when I realized Rose was gone, at least she had checked out and had been replaced with a Malificent sort of character.

I know I had forgiven Harry over him bullying me, and I truly had. The moment I realized how vulnerable he was, I had let go of all my anger. But there is memories that I had forgotten. The ones that were to painful to remember, but now they were back and I am just not sure if his apology could be made for this. I covered my eyes with my hands. I'm such an idiot. Elliot would probably never talk to me again, and I understood it, but she was a horrible person. Ugh, I'm a horrible person too. Who gave me the right to say that? I could easily understand why people would all hate me. I do everything at the wrong time. I get confidence when I am in a club and that affects Elliot. I get idiotic when I remember things I never wanted to think about again and say the worst things. How could I be so mean? I didn't know Elliot was there. I should've apologized, but the way he looked at me… it was better off that I just left. He would of never forgiven me anyway, not that I even close to remotely deserved it. Harry would be here any minute. I didn't really want to deal with all of this, right now. To both of those guys Rose was just a sweet innocent girl. Nothing but beautiful ginger red hair and a smile. But to me, she was worse. I was going to seem like the crazy girlfriend, pointing out an ex-girlfriends flaws. She was a cancer victim for God's sake. I sighed when I heard the front door close quietly. 

"Evie?" I didn't answer. "Evie, we have to talk. I know your in here, I see your stuff." I still didn't reply. Why not savor the nano-seconds I had before he came to my room? Just like that, the seconds were gone and Harry's tall figure stood in the door frame of my room. "Are you going to reply?"

"No." I said ironically. 

"Good." He sat down at the foot of my bed. "Then listen." He said in a commanding tone. His hand rested on my leg, but I  quickly sat up, my back against the headboard, shaking his calming hand off of me. "What I did to you, was fucked up Evie. I wish I could say I never wanted to hurt you, but in some twisted way, I did. Maybe it was because I was teenage boy who didn't know how to deal with feelings. Or maybe it was because they're was something about you that just made me hurt. I don't know how to explain it, but I think I liked you. Maybe even loved you, and for some reason my mind didn't want me to have that-"

"You can't pass this off as if you were  in pre-school and pushed me down because you had a crush Harry. You made me hate myself." I replied, not giving into eye contact.

"I know, I know, I am not trying to Evie but- I don't even have an excuse for why I acted that way. But I just don't understand why you'd hate Rose. She was so sweet, and caring." I rolled my eyes. She was, Harry she was.  I wanted to yell and just get it through his head, but that wouldn't be like me. That would be the angry girlfriend picking on his ex's.

"Harry you may think that you're the only one who had an affect on my life, but when you're disliked by the popular kid, everyone hates you. Girls can be vicious people Harry. We're even worse to other girls. Its unfathomable how rude we can be to one another. The snarky comments we make about one another's clothes. The way we comment on makeup, or haircuts. Or how we accuse each other copying our styles or outfits. We notice things about each other that guys wouldn't recognize if you pointed them out, and thats just between friends. When a girl is your enemy, you're treated to cold stairs, and emotionless ridicule. Harry, she might of been this pretty perfect girl on the outside but on the inside, she was just as evil as you" I stopped and looked up at his hurt eyes and couldn't deal with it. So I found myself staring off at a more interesting coat hanger on the ground. "were, Just as evil as you were." I corrected myself. It was something that I was confused about too, how he could go from being so rude to so kind, but I was ok with accepting it because he wouldn't hurt anymore and I knew that to be true. 

"Just as evil, huh." He remarked, rolling the words back and forth in his mind. "I just don't get it though. Why would she leave me and tell me she hated-" He stopped, thinking about another person hating him. Its funny, in high school it was like he built his life of how much I hated him but now the idea sickened him. He rephrased his sentence, trying to make it easier on himself to spit out. "When she left me, she told me it was because the person I was, was a monster. I deserved pain in my life for all that i've caused others. Evie she's the reason I wrote that letter, I realized how much of a jerk I was. How much harm i've caused to others. I was Harry and behind me was a path of destruction for every time I was angry at the world and I took it out on you or some other person I called a dork. I reevaluated my whole life because of her, I just don't get how she could of been so mean, if she was too kind of a person to be with me." He said, looking down at his hands. Rose was the reason he wrote me that letter, the one I found in his room back at Holmes Chapel. The one where he apologized to me. Where he regretted everything he had done wrong to me. The reason forgiving him, was a lot simpler than it probably should've been. He knew he had done wrong because of her guidance. Why did she have the right to leave Harry for wickedness if she was almost ten times worse? 

"You're not a monster anymore." I said looking down. It was the truth, he was kind and caring and compassionate. I just don't like the idea of it being all because of some jerk, who yes, maybe turned into the sweetest girl out there, being the cause of Harry's kindness. "It wasn't because of Rose leaving you that you became nicer. It was because you grew up Harry, you did that. She just left you, you realized you needed to change. And I am so glad you realized that." I looked up at his eyes, which were sullen with a hint of hope in them now. 

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you. And I love you, and I am pretty sure you are not a mean jackass any more? Or are you?" I asked smiled and laughing lightly. I ran my fingers through his hair, feeling the soft curls that were tossed around his head. I looked to see him smiling, positioning him self on his knees in front of me, so he was just a centimeter shorter then me, who was sitting down.  He took me by the wrists and put my hands on his shoulders, as he leaned up to kiss me. Kissing him was like lightening striking the ground. It was a shock, a rush almost. And that was just the initial kiss, every one after that was an electric shock, but an exciting one. When we parted, I tried to breath quietly so it wouldn't seem that I was out of breath. 

"You know what you said, that Elliot guy looked like he took it hard." I sighed and nodded.

"Yeah I know. I don't think I can face him again." I replied honestly. I put my head in my hands. "That was a horrible thing to say."

"It really was, I just don't understand how she was so mean to you."

"I just, honestly Harry, I don't feel like talking about it. I just want to sit down on the couch and watch television." 

"Yeah I know, don't we all just wanna do that all the time? You should really go and talk to Elliot."

"Oh so now you want me to spend time with the guy?" I asked, referring back to Harry's odd remarks about Elliot.

"I want you to apologize." I rolled my eyes. What was he, my dad?

"Aww thanks for the advice daddy. I guess that would be the right thing to do, and you do know all." I said sarcastically. 

"Daddy?" Harry said, wriggling his eye brows. 

"Eww!" I screeched hitting his chest playfully. "You pervert." I laughed and he smiled. I stood up and he pulled me back down, but this time he looked into my eyes seriously. 

"You should really do the right thing."

"Yeah I know, its just harder."

"Thats the way it normally is, isn't it?" I pulled him for a hug, my face resting in the crook of his neck, and his in mine. My hair was being lightly wrapped around his finger, as he braided it and took out of braids and did it over again. 

"Seems to me, that's the way it always is."