Turn Back- A Star Wars Rebels Fanfiction

Chapter 8

In my dream, I can see my family.

My mother and my father, both holding hands and smiling, like the good old days. They're both walking farther and farther away from me, and I want to join them. Maybe, things could go back to what they once were. I move toward them, walking into the white mist that always surrounds me in dreams.

"What are you doing?"

I turn around, and I can see my new family behind me. The ghost crew, also holding hands, but they are frowning.

"You can't have both." Hera says, looking over my shoulder to where my parents are walking.

"Why not?" I ask. "My parents are back!" Suddenly a wave of happiness rushes over me. My mom is alive again! My dad is back! "Why don't you come with me?"

I extend a hand toward them, hoping that when they accept it, we can catch up with my parents. I've already missed so much with them, I don't want to waste another second.

"No." This time it's Sabine talking. "You have to choose now."

"What? Come on, guys! Do you really expect me to just turn back?"

"You've always thought about it, haven't you?" Ezra says, letting go of the other's hands. "Me and Kanan felt it, we felt that you didn't want to stay."

"You don't understand..." I say weakly, pressing my hand to my chest, right over my heart. Why is it that it feels like it's breaking all over again? "You guys are my family, too. I can't trade one for another...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up again, cold and tired.

The more I have those dreams, the more exhausted I felt. I don't know how much more of them I can take. I can barely drag myself through Jedi training everyday, and when I collapse in bed, I'm tormented by dreams that don't make any sense.

I rub my eyes, wondering if the Jedi before the Empire ever felt like this. I remember the stories of people born without eyes, but they saw through the force. Did they dream like I did? I think that the Empire killed all of them during Order 66. Too bad I can't talk to them now.

More banging in the hallway and shouts. Vaguely, I wonder if Ezra is chasing Chopper again or something. Or maybe Zeb is chasing Ezra again.

I peel myself of my bed and practically slide off the ladder. I walk into the bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. My eyes are getting red due to lack of sleep, and I look pale. I wonder if I can fake being sick today, just so I can try and sleep without the dreams. I dismiss the idea when I think about how easily Kanan would find out.

I splash cold water on my face, gasping when it makes contact. It feels like pure ice. I get dressed in jeans and a plain blue t-shirt, and put on my black shoes and jacket. I feel less like death and more like a jedi now.

Well, if Jedi wore casual clothes and sneakers, anyway.

I walk out of the room, and I can't find whatever was making that banging noise earlier. If Chopper was in here, he's long gone now. Everyone should be up now, it's about 8:30. I walk into the kitchen, wondering if I should eat or bang my head against the wall. Either of them would be a nice distraction from the dreams.

Hera and Kanan are in the room, talking about some future plans for something. They stop talking when I walk into the room, and study me as I move to the refrigerator.

"Am I really that interesting?" I ask, opening the door and shuffling some food items around.

Hera laughs. "Just wondering if you're feeling okay. You look a bit tired."