Nothing Personal {Jalex- Book 3}

Chapter 3: Wide Awake, My Mistake, So Predictable

I did as Rian asked and showered. It was actually kind of nice once I was actually doing it. Showers always calmed me down and cleared my head. And boy did I need that.  

I still wasn't sure how I was going to handle being around Alex all the time again. We'd be with each other in the studio then a little while later we'd be in a cramped tour bus together again. You know, the fucked up thing is that if things were different I wouldn't even mind that stuff. 

And what's even more fucked up is that I think I still don't, because deep down I really did still love him. I really did. That didn't just go away. 

So, in that life changing shower, I decided that if he tried to get me back and he honestly loved me, then I'd listen to what he had to say at least. I'd let him try to convince me to take him back. 

But, what if he didn't want that? He didn't want us to be together before because he didn't want anyone to know. What if he just lets me go before we both get fucked over in this mess? 

Honestly, that's probably the smart thing to do, but I think if he did it I'd be completely heart broken. Because that means we're not worth it, I'm not worth it. 

-

I got to the studio early, way before anyone else. It'd been a few weeks since I played and I wanted to warm up a little before everyone came. It was actually quiet in there for once. I mean, usually there were people talking or mixing things together or playing music, but not this early in the writing process I guess.

I picked up my acoustic and sat down on one of chairs. Whoever was there the night before must have set all our instruments out. I took a pick from the side table and plucked at the strings a little to find that they were perfectly in tune. 

That made me a little sad, tuning the guitar was always something I kind of liked doing in a weird way. Nevertheless I started strumming out a song. I was a little rusty but after a while it sounded pretty good. 

I wasn't playing a particular song but I was kind of getting into it. It was pretty slow and kind of sad sounding, if that make sense for a guitar sound. I kept playing it over and over, changing it and making it sound perfect. 

When I hit the final note of the little piece I was working on someone clapped for me. My head shot up, I hadn't noticed anyone was there. Alex was standing there clapping. 

I looked away as he came over and sat down on the couch next to me, lyric book in hand. He turned to a certain page silently and looked it over. 

"That was beautiful, Jack," he said quietly, "I have some lyrics to go with it if you could play it again." 

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded. I started the song again and soon his voice filled the air.

"My ship went down,

 in a sea of sound,

When I woke up alone, 

I had everything," as he sang he made eye contact with me. This part was for me.

"A handful of moments, 

I wished I could change,

And a tongue like a nightmare,

that cut like a blade..."

He looked down at his feet and continued to sing, "In a city of fools, 

I was careful and cool,

But they tore me apart like a hurricane,

A handful of moments, 

I wished I could change,

But I was carried away...

Alex paused as I played some more of the song, then he sang more, "Give me a therapy, I'm a walking travesty,

But I'm smiling at everything,

Therapy, you were never a friend to me,

And you can keep all your misery..."

I played a little bit more but when he didn't sing again I stopped. 

"That's all I have so far," he said calmly. 

I gave him a small shy smile, "I love it." 

"You do?"

"Yes... I do." 

"Look, Jack, we need to talk," he proposed, "before all of this writing and awkwardness starts." 

"Okay," I whispered, "I'm listening."

A/N: I AM SEEING ALL TIME LOW AND SLEEPING WITH SIRENS/MEETING SWS TOMORROW!!!! I'M GOING TO FALL OVER DEAD AND JUST DIE. 

Thank you that is all. 

Vote and comment if you'd like!!!!!!!! 

Until next time, 

-H