I felt my heart drop instantly. No that wouldn't be the right word, it was more like it dropped, shattered, broke into a million pieces, the remains burned, the ash from that shot off into the sun and... No not even that explained how I felt, nothing could have described it, the complete and utter sense of despair and hopelessness. The pain enveloped like Katy was by Slade's arms and her face covered in his kisses. Each kiss felt like a stab to the heart, with the pain just stacking on while his being in her arms gave the feeling of twisting in the knife, burrowing in deeper and deeper. The air, the breath in my lungs left, it fled my body along with any sense of feeling or emotion.
All that was left was nothing, no happiness, no joy, no anger, rage, sadness, nothing, just complete and pure emptiness.
Everything inside felt dead, dead heavy weight... dead heavy hollow weight.
Imagine a person made of stone, now imagine cracks here and there on him not a lot of cracks but a few still you could hold him and he wouldn't break. Now imagine cracks all over him and just the littlest, lightest touch would break him and he would never be fixed. That was me, at that moment I know I was broken by that touch of Katy and Slade being together.
It was a horrible pain, a terrible pain that started in my chest and spread through my body. It burned my eyes as I tried to blink it away in a futile attempt, it got rid of my breath, it numbed me in the end. I was empty, lifeless, shattered mentally, essentially dead inside as I watched them love each other.
I wasn't sure what to do, whether to grab him and smash his head into ground till his brains painted the ground, to take Katy and run away, to cry in front of everyone, to go home, to go to school. Nothing made sense, nothing seemed like a solution to my pain, everything seemed like a solution to my pain. Nothing made sense, but everything made sense. I didn't know whether to live or die. Death seemed more tempting to me, but it would push her towards him and I wanted anything but that. I just, I just got to wait it out, she'll see what a mistake she made, she will realize how the one for her is me. She will, she has to, she's, she's mine.
Katy seemed to have lost all conception that I was there or what I was singing to her or even what I meant by singing it. She was too busy giggling and kissing Slade who had his hands all over her. They seemed happy together in their own little world. My best friend. With my love...
