"Let's get the sorries out of the way
Let's get the sad look off of your face
'Cause it hurts me more to say
That I could make you hate me, hate me
When baby you're the best thing, best thing
That ever happened to me"
- Andee
I laid on my couch and hugged Bennie tighter. I wanted her to be Ashtyn. I wanted everyone I saw on a regular basis to be Ashtyn. I wanted Ashtyn! I should be obsessing over Amanda. And I was. Don't get me wrong there. But Ashtyn. Ashtyn had never hurt me, she'd only loved me and cared for me and supported me. And I let that go.
I look a long drag from my e-cig and blew it away from the dog. The voicemail still rang through my ears and each word stabbed me like a knife. It was true, she wasn't trying to put words in my mouth or falsely accuse me. Everything was true. I'd freaked out. I'd yelled at her. I'd swore. I'd called her crazy. But I didn't mean it. I was afraid. I was afraid and I acted irrationally.
It was now or never. I'd waited long enough. I grabbed my phone and took another long drag. It rang. Then nothing.
"Ashtyn?"
Silence.
"Okay." I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."
Silence.
"I'm sorry for leaving you. I'm sorry for calling you crazy. I'm sorry for hurting you."
Silence.
"Ashtyn please"
"Are you drunk?" She said at last.
"No." I sighed in relief.
"Are you high?"
"Ashtyn I don't do that anymore. Please listen to me." I love you! "I'm sorry."
Silence.
"So here's another day I'll spend away from you. Another night I'm on another broken avenue" I sang slowly.
"Josh..."
"I miss the stupid things. We'd go to sleep and then..."
"Josh..."
"Take me with you I start to miss you. Take me home I don't wanna be alone tonight"
"Josh." She took a deep breath. "Why me?"
"Why not you? Ashtyn you're the best thing to ever happen to me. You make me happy and you keep my calm and I made a terrible decision to leave you."
"Why did you leave me?" Her voice cracked slightly.
"I was afraid." I admitted. "It sounds stupid I know. But I was afraid."
Silence.
"Ashtyn please."
"Afraid of what?" Her voice cracked even more.
"Afraid of the public. It's not just you! It's all the time. Im terrified of them judging me and I came rarely be myself because I don't even know who I am anymore and I'm sorry."
Silence. Dial tone.
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Back Home | A Josh Ramsay/Marianas Trench fan fiction
Fanfiction"Goodbye to the skyline Hello to the sweet pines Gonna see you later street lights I'm headed back to tree lines To free time and starry nights To bonfires and fire flies Pack your bags it's time to go Cause we got brighter lights back home" -Owl Ci...
