A/N: Suicidal Tzk and mentions of self harm. I apologise for the negativity, as most of my stories have happier themes ;w;;
Tsuzuku P.O.V
The wrong string. Again. MiA's mistakes repeated over and over.
The same yelling again. Koichi wanted MiA to know his mistakes were delaying us all.
The same fed up raised voice again. Meto tried to calm the pair down.
"MiA are you fucking kidding me?!" Koichi yelled at him now. I didn't turn back to face the rest of my band, I stared straight ahead, straight into the empty seats, clutching my microphone in fear. Fear of this band's future.
"I'm sorry but I can't help it today!"
Rehearsals were starting to always end early with arguments.
"What's wrong with you at the moment?!" Koichi raised his voice.
I could never stop them. It was out of my control.
"I'm trying my fucking best."
"You always say that!"
"GUYS STOP."
Meto stopped them as usual. Then silence. Then they'd look towards me. But they could only see my back, as I still stood facing the empty seats ahead. They'd notice the trembling. Hear the sobs. But that didn't discourage them.
MiA threw his ESP to the floor and stormed offstage, and said instrument started making the amps ring out, deafeningly. Meto followed him, trying his best to reassure me everything was okay by helping out with the problem. And Koichi sighed and followed after, shutting off the electricity supply to all of our equipment. I heard Ruana suddenly tumble to the floor from the drum kit and the stuffed object lay there, still and forgotten.
The stage lights shone down at me, standing alone, my feet staying glued to the stage. Black eyeliner tears streaming down my cheeks. I then collapsed into a crying mess in the middle of the stage, my makeup smudging as I leaked tears from my eyes. Empty seats, ready for eager, excited MEJIBRAY fans. Who knew when it would be the last time we appeared onstage together for them? To them we still seemed happy, united – in all our music videos we try hard to look happy. If only they knew what was coming. That salty liquid still escaped my eyes, even more now. It wouldn't stop no matter how hard I tried to supress it. I had spent so long trying to make this band work. This band was the only reason I had hope. In myself. Without this band I was surely a failure. I had let my own dreams down, and my mum's too.
The staff shook their heads at one another at the sight of my trembling body, before my hairstylist approached me.
"Tsu..." She began in a soft, quiet tone, she was trying to comfort me. She had no idea how much this band meant to me. She had no fucking clue how much I hated times like these when we couldn't get on. I wrenched my body away from the innocent woman before standing, then running offstage to grab my phone and money and keys.
The rest of the band were backstage, staring blankly at the screens of their mobile devices, reeking of tobacco, glumly communicating with whoever they were friends with on Twitter or Instagram. MiA lifted his head slowly, only to shoot a glare at me through the swirl of smoke coming from his cigarette. What did I do to ruin this band?
I burst out of the door, leaving the arena, leaving the band for the night. Home. I needed to get home. Stitching the tiniest smile onto my face, I made my way through the cold streets, keeping my head down and clutching at my sides as a reaction to the bitter cold. None of my band 'mates' attempted following me to see if I were okay. Nobody bothered anymore. Everyone knew what was going to happen eventually. The inevitable news flushing through the visual kei world. 'MEJIBRAY Disbanding'.
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/50708366-288-k364947.jpg)
YOU ARE READING
JUMP
FanfictionBelieving that MEJIBRAY are coming to an end, Tsuzuku loses it. He cannot survive without the band. But there is no other way forward.