JUMP

Part 4

A/N: Please remember that this story is very depressing and perhaps triggering. Please do not read if this will upset you.

Tsuzuku P.O.V

I was to meet someone. That was all I knew. That was all I expected. How could you expect anything other than the final moment of your life, anyway. I was to meet someone. What would they look like? Would we talk much? Curiosity sparked, rumbled, died. Then I continued my walk.

Meto P.O.V

"WHERE IS HE?!" Koichi frantically moved his head, glancing at every corner of the room as if he expected Tsuzuku to just appear magically and pat him on the shoulder saying, 'I'm fine, you?' and shove his hands in his pockets casually.

"Call... call Ryoga!" Koichi was trying hard to suppress his fear, and trying to stop yelling at me. I pulled out my phone, swiping desperately through my contacts. Ryoga. It began ringing. The narcissistic fuck answered.

"Meto?"

"Ryoga, are you with Tsu?"

"No why would I be with him?"

"I thought you were...?" I glanced at Koichi who stood stuck to the ground, his hands over his mouth as he breathed heavily into them, trying to cope with the intense worry.

"Together? Me and him? That ended ages ago – does he not tell you anything?! He's a worthless slut whose problems I just don't care for." There was a short silence before he chuckled, "Heh, sorry... I guess."

I ended the call and swore ferociously.

"Koichi, look on his laptop for any clues."

Koichi nodded, running towards the laptop that stood on the desk on the opposite side of the room. However, he stumbled suddenly, his foot stepping on a glass bottle instead of the carpet and he fell backwards. The bottle rolled towards me, and I picked it up, examining it. It was only half a bottle. Half a bottle with red liquid stains around the sharp glass edges that stuck out. I prayed it wasn't what I thought it was.

The pinkette scrambled to his feet again, not reacting to his fall, as if he didn't register the event, then he reached the laptop and switched it on.

"What about Aki? Call him please!"

I dialled Aki's number.

"Meto! This is a surprise! What is-" I had to interrupt him.

"Where's Tsuzuku? Have you seen him?!" I was out of breath.

"What's happened?!"

"I guess you haven't then...? It doesn't matter just please tell me if you find out where he is."

I went to hang up when he suddenly caught my attention.

"Let me help. I saw him earlier and he gave me his dog to look after... ... I'm guessing he didn't go to visit his mother then..? Where are you now?"

I paused, in a state of shock. Koichi had managed to hear the phone conversation too, and he wrenched the phone from my hand,

"Tsu's apartment. Please!"

Tsuzuku P.O.V

I took a deep breath, looking up the vast dirty grey wall that stood in front of me. I was stood in a dark alley way in a quieter part of town, where I could hear all that I needed to without anyone interrupting. The emotions I contained in my weak little body were indescribable. The emptiness swallowed me, ruined me, made me want this to be over so fast, but I was still scared. Yet I couldn't tell what the fear came from. I was certain this was right.

Why had the suffering targeted me? Nobody could answer. I was so deep in, I was lost. This was the only solution. I was sure. By now I would've thought people had seen this day coming. They didn't.

I tried the back door of the building, as I had been instructed. The door swung open easily. I walked inside.

Aki P.O.V

I locked my house after patting the Chihuahua goodbye, then rushed down flights and flights of stairs that seemed to go on forever until I reached my motorbike. Not thinking to put on my helmet, I started the engine and sped into the night noisily, not caring if people complained. Tsuzuku needed us.

Tsuzuku P.O.V

One step. What about the band? The band was dying. Tsuzuku was nearly gone. What about your mother? I'm a burden who relies on her too much. She can be happier if I go. What about your friends? When you have fame, friends are mere acquaintances – they mean nothing.

The stairwell was cold. I shivered, part of me still wishing I could go home and sit under a blanket pretending everything was okay as I put this off, but part of me knew this was going to happen one day or another. I couldn't keep holding it off – the longer I lived the more pain I was in.

Meto P.O.V

The taller male's breath went silent.

"Koichi..?"

A tear fell from one eye, which still locked onto the screen of the laptop that he had originally been searching.

"What is it?" I demanded, but he couldn't reply. His body convulsed in a painful way, and he finally managed to take a breath, falling forward, his fists hitting the table to keep himself balanced as he began panicking.

"Koichi!" Trying to push down the nerves that crawled through me, I approached him.

'We can end it together. I have finally found someone who knows my suffering. I have found someone who has given me the strength to end it all. Nothing good will come out of putting it off any longer. I promise, it will end.'

The bassist leaned over, his body slumping onto mine as one hand was brought up to clamp him mouth. I just stared wide eyed at the screen, unable to bring my arms up to hold Koichi as a way to comfort him. For a split second, I thought I could feel Tsu's pain rushing through me, making my body shudder and twitch. It died away shortly after, however.

Tsuzuku P.O.V

Ten steps.

'The end...' I sang. 'True end...' I sang. I was going to write it one day. I was.

I could turn around now, turn around and go back. But returning to the pain of an isolated mind scared me far too much. My sides would no longer ache after this.

'To be...' 'Or not... to be...'

I felt the wind rush across my bony shoulders as I hauled myself to the top.

'To be...' MEJIBRAY could've played that song together. We could've. We could've, I'm sure. It would never get done though – it would never be successful, even if it was with the fans. It would no longer mean anything for the band, besides money. 'or not... to... be...'

'To- be- -,' A frozen tear dribbled down my cheek, drawing a wet line down pale skin, tracing my jaw, falling, bursting. My bottom lip trembled. I bit it to keep it straight. I tasted my own blood. It was familiar. 'Or not- - to...' He could've been me. But in so many ways he wasn't.

I stopped at the top. Staring out at the rooftop. A silhouette contrasted the white moon. 'be...' I whispered, the wind carrying my whisper away and losing it.

~~~~~

Remember, you are NOT alone. Even when you think there is no one out there, it is just your mind playing a horrible trick. It is very possible to end the pain you are in, in a safer way, one that will result in the rest of your life being so much more stable. There is always some one else in the same situation as you, and there is always a safe, secure way to solve the problems you are facing. Don't give in, please, fight until you can stand and smile a genuine, beautiful smile.

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