A/N: This is the length of two chapters but I thought it'd be unfair to do them separately.
Tsuzuku P.O.V
Long way down, hello.
I quivered, but it wasn't because of the cold.
Maybe it's not right.
But I didn't want to go back.
I knew I would regret it going back.
If I went back I'd just have to persuade myself to do this all again.
If I went back it wouldn't solve anything – I'd just be forcing myself to carry on living in hell.
Meto P.O.V
The car journey was mostly silent, if you ignored Koichi. But he was only expressing what we were keeping inside. I looked back to where he and Aki sat: Aki had his arm around the pinkette, who had his face buried in his hands. Tears still leaked out from between his fingers. His sniffs and sobs and ugly hiccups filled the car and my nerves could not be calmed. The overwhelming amount of 'what if' scenarios that slithered into my mind taunted and teased me.
Tsuzuku P.O.V
I looked to my right. He was leaning forward, leaning over, leaning into it. He looked somewhat unfussed. I didn't understand – but when I hardly knew what he had been through anyway. I stood straight, my toes slightly poking over the edge of the roof, but my hands gripping the steel fence behind me, hard, my knuckles probably turning white – but I didn't care about seeing their colour. I was ready in an unprepared way. I had wanted to do this for so long but when I stood here I realised: death was the end of everything.
Aki P.O.V
I didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do. Koichi shook violently as he sobbed, unable to process any words anymore, and the more we drove, the worse he got. Meto, on the other hand, sat in his seat, fumbling with the frayed parts of his jacket, his eyes tearing up but repeatedly failing to cry. It would've made Koichi worse – it would've made us all worse. We seemed to be relying on the smallest of us all to keep us together.
All I could think about was the little dog I had left at my house. I remembered when Tsuzuku gave her to me just a few hours ago, how he held her up and gazed into her eyes lovingly, how she licked him and wagged his tail, oblivious, like we were. The marks on his arms. Why didn't I do something? Why didn't I let myself into his apartment and help him? Why wasn't I a good enough friend to him?!
Meto P.O.V
MiA continued to drive in silence, not uttering a word. His eyes focused on the road ahead, his lips sealed. There was nothing to say – we all knew what filled each other's minds. Looking into the car mirror I saw a tiny tear run down Aki's cheek. His lips trembled but he furrowed his eyebrows, looking out of the window instead in an attempt to distract himself, and stroking Koichi's shoulder, even though it was useless to try to comfort the distraught bassist.
I prayed that we got there in time. Please.
Tsuzuku P.O.V
He took a hand away from the fence.
"No more." He said.
I hadn't realised it until now - how he was fading mentally: his eyes glazed over, his expression blank, and he looked the ground in the face as if it were his friend - as if it were welcoming him home after an exhausting journey.
I looked back down too and lifted my foot slightly, cautiously dangling it over the edge of the roof, feeling gravity encourage it down. My heart pumped on and on and on. I could hear it in my head, hear the beat of my own body, hear how it still worked even when I wished it didn't.
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FanfictionBelieving that MEJIBRAY are coming to an end, Tsuzuku loses it. He cannot survive without the band. But there is no other way forward.