For Hating Me You Sure Are Possessive

44: Idle Hands

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I stared at the ceiling, counting sheep out loud as I tried to will myself back to sleep. It was failing miserably. I’d gotten to six hundred when I realized the attempt was quite futile. I’d never be able to get to sleep. Not with Logan’s words in my head.

What did he mean when he told me to figure out how I felt about him? I already knew. I hated him.  He picked on me constantly. Every chance he got he’d harass me. When I was happy he had to come and find way to ruin it. It was like he couldn’t stand seeing me happy.

Except when I was only with him. Then he didn’t mind me being happy. Like when I’d gone to his job with him. He’d kept me at his side the whole time, paying more attention to me than anyone else. Especially after I’d scared those girls off of him. I think he’d just wanted me to admit to being there with him. Had he actually been interested in the girls he wouldn’t have hesitated to leave me behind.

There I went, thinking about him again! What was wrong with me? It was like all I ever had on my mind lately was Logan. One moment it was how he surprised me by being decent and the next it was about how much I hated him. Could it really have all stemed from that first mistake I’d made with him with the silly poptarts? Had that never happened where would we be now?

There I went again; thinking about him.

I couldn’t help it, and that only made it worse. I needed to get my mind off of him. But how?

My eyes closed and I let out a heavy sigh. There had to be some way for me to unwind. Some way for me to feel better without having to think about him.

It was too late and I was too tired to go for a run. I couldn’t very well shoot some hoops either. So instead I’d have to find something to do indoors. In this room preferably. I didn’t want to go out for fear of Logan seeing me. Meaning I was left to only Maver’s room to find inspiration.

For a long moment I stared down at my hands. I was alone for the first time in a long time. It seemed like any moments I usually would get to myself had been filled with guys. Either Logan harassing me, Maver talking about the latest party, Dylan flirting with me, Preston keeping me sane or Coach Lucas confusing me took up all of my time. Other than that I was surrounded with the girls of my team. Not that they were any good for me.

But now, now I was alone. Who knew when I’d get this opportunity next? What with Logan always harassing me and my aunt now back from wherever she’d been this may be my last chance to do something without being interrupted.

My eyes darted up to the door. The lock was still turned. Not that I thought some ghost would unlock it on me, but who knows, maybe with how hard I’d slammed on the lock Id broken it? But I hadn’t. It was locked and I was alone. No one could bother me now. I was safe if at least for a few hours.

I didn’t even think about what I was doing until I started doing it. It was like my hand had just found its way into my soft cotton short shorts. I was more surprised Logan hadn’t commented on them than about what I was doing with my hand. I’d been in bed when I’d called for his aid and hadn’t even thought of changing from my pajamas. Though in my defense I didn’t even have the chance to.