Niecey. . .
I woke up and was still alone in the bed. Hakeem didn’t come home. Which really wasn’t unusual. I had gotten pretty used to waking up alone. I got up to start my day. After cleaning up in the bathroom and straightening up our room I went to cook breakfast. As soon as the eggs hit the pan and began to smell I got sick. I ran to the hall bathroom and emptied my stomach into the toilet. I rinsed my mouth then the smoke detector went off. Damn, the eggs. I ran to the kitchen to see my eggs burnt. After I cleaned them up I got an apple and a bottle of water before heading to bed. I felt horrible. As soon as I laid back my body relaxed and I felt myself falling asleep.
“Deniece, get up.”
“Hakeem? What the fuck? What time is it?”
“It’s like 4:00.” I jumped up. I had plans on going to pay the bills, visit my Mom, and start planning the wedding. “You been sleep forever and your phone been ringing all day, damn.” I rolled my eyes. I grabbed my phone and saw that someone really had been blowing my phone up. 12 missed calls, 6 texts, and 2 voicemails.
Shawny and Frankie were the ones who called the most. Other than that I had a call from my Mom, Alex, and. . . Tyler? I looked over at Hakeem to make sure he wasn’t looking at the phone. The same people texted me. And the voicemails were from Shawny and Frankie.
-First voice message. . . “Niecey, where you at? We been blowing your phone up all day. Weeelll, anyways. . . I gots to lace you up. Me, you, and Frankie are going out to lunch when I get back. And Frankie ain’t answering her phone so tell her too. Y’all hoes tripping lately. But, we’re going to the beach now so I’ll talk to you next week. Love you.”
-Next voice message. . . “Niecey. . . I got to tell you something. It’s really important. Me and Liah will be over tomorrow at 2:00. OMG, CJ just came home. Bye Girl.”
Dang, it was unusual for them both to call me with important news that had nothing to do with each other. I wonder how important it could be. I threw my phone back onto the dresser and pulled the pillow and blanket back over my face. Hakeem was playing the game on the floor and it was loud as hell. I was still feeling sick and irritated. I just wanted to sleep.
“Baby, get up. I told you it’s like 4:00 already.”
“I’m sleepy.” I heard his game pause so I gripped the blankets tighter. He tried snatching them away from me. Then he tickled me and I let go.
“Why you so tired?”
“I’m worn out Hakeem.”
“Who wore you out last night? Clearly I wasn’t home.”
“Yes, I know that so where were you?” I saw his eyes shift. He was deciding on if he was going to lie to me or not.
“I got to let you know something.” I got a wave of sickness in my stomach again. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. What I threw up? I had no idea since I hadn’t ate at all. Afterwards I rinsed my mouth out and brushed my teeth. When I looked in the mirror I saw Hakeem standing in the doorway. He didn’t have to say anything because I saw the excitement.
“You got something to tell me, Niecey?”
“Nope.” I tried to walk out but he blocked my way.
“Deniece, are you pregnant?” I hadn’t thought about that. I quickly dismissed the possibility.
“No, I’m not.” I ducked under his arm and went to dive into bed. He turned and posted at the bathroom door. He folded his arms and just smirked at me.
“You said you had to tell m something, Hakeem.”
“Oh yeah.” He came and sat at the end of the bed. He looked down at the floor and swallowed hard. “You’re ummmm. . . pregnant.” He just laughed. But, it was so not funny. I gave him that “fuck you” look. “Deniece, you throw up constantly. You’re always tired. And no offense but your stomach is a little softer than usual. You’re abs are fading.”
Was I really pregnant? I shook the thought. I rolled my eyes. “Tell me wassup Hakeem. Because, that wasn’t it.”
For the next 20 minutes he explained everything. The money, drugs, and even the killings. I felt so scared of him, like I didn’t know who he was. I didn’t realize I had a look of fear in my eyes. He reached his hand towards my face and I flinched. Tears began to fall. He looked pained.
“Baby, please. Just listen to me. I’m the same person I always have been. You know me better than anybody. I need you to be here for me.”
“I’m here.” He grabbed me and pulled me on top of him. All I could do was cry. I cried into his chest for what seemed like forever. I stopped but felt numb.
“Why are you shaking?”
“I can’t believe you’ve been hiding this for 2 years. You’ve been lying. I thought you were at work all those nights.”
“I was at work. And it’s not like I don’t really work at the design company still. But, truthfully half them niggas in there work along with me now.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I did this for us. But, I can’t stop now. I told you shit is getting real now.”
“Ok.”
“Yeah, and stop all that crying. You making my son get upset in there.” He thought he was slick.
“I’m not pregnant.”
“Ok whatever you say.” He laughed.
“But, forreal Hakeem. I love you and you know I got your back, right?”
“Of course.” I pulled him by his chin to look downward at me. I wanted show him I was serious.
“Ride?”
“Or die.” He smiled. I kissed him and snuggled up to him tighter. I drifted off, thinking. Maybe I was pregnant. But, what will I do? Oh God, help me please.
