Secret #13

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|Chapter 13: Kiss Me like the World's gonna Disappear| Part 4             

If Jongin truly understands what the Baekhyun means or not, he wastes no time unlatching those fingers tightly holding around his wrists and goes running with no other thoughts than to follow Kyungsoo and to hold him in his arms. He needs to tell him what he saw was simply nothing, and explain to him he's the one he loves. That is why he did it.

He did it for him. It was for them.

It's over.

Kyungsoo knows.

Kyungsoo's leaving.

A mixture of these horrible thoughts and different voices keeps coming endlessly in Jongin's mind. It only keeps echoing louder and louder that he can't hear anything anymore, not of Baekhyun's voice shouting after him or his own breaths. Nothing, and it tags along with his every step that no matter how big he makes it, it still seems he can't make it back into the older's arms in time.

Kyungsoo runs back into the house, straining the remaining tears left inside of him, even muffling the soft noises of his murdered sobs with both of his hands, just not to let anyone know, not Kris or Luhan. But his body is shaking too hard. He feels so weak, not breathless because of runnning but because he feels everything he's done has come to a waste.

Even putting all his trust and all his faith and all his love to a certain boy that he gave the chance to change him - to break him, wasted, just like that.

He runs up the stairs even if his legs are already failing. He keeps running without looking back. All for the reason that he doesnt want to see the younger chasing after him, or worse, not see him at all behind his back.

Because it would hurt more.

He's scared to feel that more pain.

But life keeps hitting him when he least expects it, when all he did was give life a shot and live the way he seemed to have wanted. And that is by being loved, and loving, once Kyungsoo saw how beautiful it was.

And now, he feels so stupid to even believe it – like it was his sole answer to this endless fate of lies and pain running after his life. Now everything comes clearer in his eyes. Jongin, Love. This stupid love is nothing but lies and pain made pretty by some ridiculous amount of words, by some idealistic romantics who died along with their love.

Killed by the pain it brought.

When he reaches the top, Kyungsoo immediately heads for their room, uncertain of what he'd do next. If he'd pack all of his things and leave every single piece of his heart behind, or stay, wait for the younger and believe in his words, for once more, that is now much more harder to believe in.

Kyungsoo doesnt know what to do anymore.

But cry. Since it was the easiest thing he can do.

"Kyungsoo, are you okay? What happened? Why are you crying?" He hears Kris interject his thoughts, stopping him before he can finally put his trembling hands on hold of the door.

Kyungsoo looks at him with misty eyes. Blurred, and all he sees is the man Baekhyun has betrayed just like Jongin did to him; A man that wasted love over someone that doesn't earn that love, and their time, and everything pure that they've given them without asking anything in return. He sees a man standing at the far end of the hall, surely it's Kris, but beneath that shallow lighting and beneath time that has already past 1am, he also sees those now visible lines on his faces, red eyes, and their tear-strickened corners.

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