|Chapter 14: Reminiscent|
It had been two long weeks since everything started going downhill.
For everyone...not just for him.
Kyungsoo dazes out of the window, minding that one lingering thought fixating in his mind.
And his question is... 'How do you sincerely kill someone, still letting them live at the same time?'
Kyungsoo thinks it is painfully simple.
"Tell him I love you," Kyungsoo prolongs his stare, more lost. "and never speak to him again."
The way the early morning sun hits him with its rays, along with flowers blooming just on the other end of those clear glass panes settles him to completely stay sitting in that corner at the edge of his bed against the still cold wall against his side. To the white room which surrounds him, there are sounds of chirping birds quietly reverberating through inside, but Kyungsoo couldn't care less at this false peace around him. Since those vivid images of his best friend and his boyfriend kissing on the sands still has him stoned, him and Jongin crying, making love, and him eventually leaving, the pain, the tears, the emotional darkness, all the lies, all the happy memories turned upside down, and all the running only to get away – all of them for Kyungsoo feels like an unending nightmare he had dreamed of but never had forgotten after waking up. That it isn't a dream he can simply brush away, but a part of his dreadful reality. Because the pain is still there, lingering, aching so much, that it feels like everything only had happened yesterday.
He doesn't realize the door opening oh so slowly behind his back, even the echoing creeks it creates under all those fallacies that keep him tied in that spot. Even someone's voice who has always cared is shut out from his ears.
"Kyungsoo-yah," His voice tries to repeat. Thankfully, for the second time, Kyungsoo hears the softness and gentleness bouncing on those four cold walls.
As he turns around, away from the beauty, he sees a young man standing only a few distance away – him and his bright smile which he hadn't seen for years.
"I see you're finally awake." That voice comes closer.
Kyungsoo can only lower his head for a quiet response, as he had always done for the past two weeks, because this young man had seen him in his worst. He remembers how pitiful he has become and how delirious he's acted in front of him that can't even show him his face and meet him in his eyes.
But mostly, Kyungsoo can't accept the fact that after all these years, it is him who had always been right.
Jongin will only hurt you. It resonates. That same voice reminded him.
"Kyungsoo," His voice brings him back out again from his nondispersing thoughts. "Com'on. I cooked your favorite." He tells him before having to leave the room first, worried his cooking might cool off, though not without a smile flashing from his lips to remind him how this has made him happy.
For what reason he may have, Kyungsoo doesn't dig in deeper. It's best to leave it that way. He doesn't need to know anyone else's feelings when he can't even understand his own anymore.
After changing and combing his hair with his hands, it's time that Kyungsoo finally decides walking out of that expansive room only to be welcomed with a more expensive looking crystal chandelier hanging from the high ceilings and a staircase which circles parallel along with large windows on one of its sides, reaching from the floor until further up, and more pristine white with a dash of monotone black in his living room; a classic significant elegance that he is still not used to see everyday. Not back then, not even now.
