Feels Like Falling

part 10

My eyes fluttered open, a sliver of light from the bathroom hitting my face. I could feel Louis’ breath warm on my neck and slowly realized I must have fallen asleep.  I didn’t even remember a bit of the movie. I must have fallen asleep before the previews had ended. I carefully slid out of bed trying to not wake Louis and walked to the bathroom. I pushed open the door to find Harry passed out on the floor; his head propped up by some fluffy hotel towels. Even in this garish lighting and his disheveled clothes he looked like an angel. What had happened to him last night? How had things gone with Morgan? I knelt down beside him and stroked the side of his face lightly with the back of my hand. He groaned a little and I ran my fingers through his hair, petting him like a cute little puppy. “Harry, come lets get you to bed” I whispered in his ear.  He groaned again and pulled his knees to his chest, protesting my suggestion. I grabbed his hands from under his face and tugged him up, which was no small task given he out weighed my by at least 50 pounds. “You can’t lie here on Louis’ disgusting bathroom floor, come to bed” I coaxed as we stumbled over to the bedroom. Harry begrudgingly kicked off his shoes and landed on the bed with a thud. I was sure he’d wake Louis… Louis! What was I thinking? I couldn’t put them in bed together, that was cruel, considering how on edge they were with each other over their drunken ‘incident’.  But I guess they’d have to just deal with it, because there was no moving Harry now. He and Louis lay with their backs facing each other. I gazed at the two of them and thought about what their night together must have been like. ‘OMG Lola! Stop!’ I shouted in my head. I was horrified at myself, not because of what I was thinking but at the fact that it was kind of turning me on.  I quickly shoved those thoughts to the back of my mind, dismissing them. I must just be over tired; it had been a long night after all. Harry started to move on the bed and sat up wiping his hair out of his eyes.  “Careful of Louis, he’s next to you.” I whispered.

            “Lo? Is that you? Why are you just standing in the middle of my hotel room? What time is it?” Harry muttered groggily.

            “It’s half past 4 in the morning. Yes its me and this is not your hotel room.” I pointed to Louis.

            Harry sat all the way up and leaned against the headboard. He rubbed his eyes and looked over at Louis. In an instant both of Harry’s hands covered his face and he started to cry. He swung his feet to the floor and rested his elbows on his thighs, his face still hidden in his hands. I could hear his light sobbing and it had me frozen. I had no idea what to do. I didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing. I just stood there and let him cry for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only about 2 minutes. I walked over to him and put my hand on his head. I twirled a bit of his hair between my fingers as I said,  “Lets go sit in the bathroom we can talk in there” I pulled him up again. I should have just left him there on the floor to begin with I thought to myself.  We both sat down on the floor, our backs against the tub.  “Its so bright in here” Harry complained through his tears. I stood up and plugged in the nightlight that was sitting on the counter and switched off the overhead light. “That’s so much better, thanks Lo”

            “Agreed” I said with a smile, returning to sit next to him. Harry was wiping the tears off his cheeks with some toilet paper and tossing it over his shoulder into the tub.  Reaching over to rest my hand on his thigh I asked, “So what’s with the water works?” I wanted to keep the mood light if possible.

            “I don’t think, erm.. I just don’t uuuh.” Harry stumbled over his words like he did so often.  “I’m certain you wont like what I have to say.” He continued, dropping his gaze from my face to the floor. Instead of letting on that I knew what he was going to tell me, I let him speak. I had a feeling that he wasn’t just explaining to me, he was also explaining to himself. His story matched Louis’ almost exactly, though it was clear that Harry was struggling much more than Louis had been with the meaning of his feelings. He was confused and scared of what others would think. I was surprised at the way he talked about Louis. It was affectionate, caring and loving. I had expected a bunch of excuses and for him to blame his actions on the alcohol. But he didn’t.