Feels Like Falling

part 9

I left the bathroom first. We decided it would look less obvious if I returned to the table a few minutes before Harry.

            “Are you okay Lola?” Niall asked when I returned to the table. He seemed genuinely concerned and I felt my cheeks flush with embarrassment. “I’m quite alright now, I wasn’t feeling very well, but I laid down for a minute and I feel much better. Thank you for asking Niall!” I said sweetly. I really liked Niall he had such a cheery personality and had this way of making me feel like we had been friends for ages, plus it didn’t hurt that he was absolutely adorable.

            “Did you see Harry by the toilet, he ran off after you left?” Louis asked knowingly

            “No I didn’t see him, I’m sure he be back shortly.” I lied

            “Well he better be, three separate magazines have snapped photos since he’s been gone, and without him here, the ones with me in them will never be used!” Morgan complained. Everyone at the table looked at her waiting for her to say ‘just kidding’ but she wasn’t. I had to bite my tongue and let the frustration pass. Harry returned to the table saying that he had run into a few fans outside the toilet and stayed for a few minutes to sign and takes some photos.            

            “Well isn’t that lovely, some dippy girls get photos of you. Several important people wanted our photograph while you were gone! Perfectly good photo ops wasted Harry, you really need to be more responsible!” Morgan chided.

            “That’s enough Morgan, I think we should leave!” Harry said, obviously embarrassed by her behavior. He stood up and she followed somewhat confused. Conversation flowed easily with Morgan gone. Before we knew it the evening was coming to a close and we were pilling into a limo.  Back at the hotel Liam and Danielle said goodnight to everyone and made their way up to their room for the night. Niall and Zayn wanted to go out and were trying to get Louis to go with them, but he insisted he was tired and wanted to stay back and wait for Harry. I volunteered to stay with Louis so the boys could go.

            Louis’ room was a lot messier than I would have expected. Clothes strewn about and the bed linens all lumped at the foot of the bed. “Didn’t they come in to clean your room today?” I asked.

            “I told them not to. I hate having to pick up just for someone to come in and make my bed. Feels more like home this way too!” Louis said and then added,  “Want to get out of that dress?” I was fairly certain he was just being cheeky, but I replied, “Louis, that kiss in the car, what was that? I thought we were just playing but your tongue in my mouth felt pretty real!” I was blunt but I didn’t think I needed to beat around the bush with Lou.            

            “You look amazing tonight, I think I just got wrapped up in it all. I know what our arrangement was and I may have taken it a bit far, but you have to understand that there was something in it for me too.” Louis started. So what I had picked up on was true, Louis had some motivation to make Harry jealous other than just helping me out. “Harry and I became close straight away on the show and I am slightly embarrassed to admit, but I started to fancy him. In a way I had never fancied another lad before. One night several months ago after an event much like tonight and quite a lot of drinking, Harry and I were on a massive bender and had a bit of a romp.” Louis said looking at me for a response. I was pretty sure I knew what he meant, but Brit slang can be kind of ambiguous.

            “You and Harry got wasted and kissed?” I asked

            “We did quite a bit more than snogging Lola. Then a week later Harry brought Morgan home. Paraded her around the flat like she was some fit prize. You know he wont even talk to me about what happened between us? 

            For the first time since I’d met him, Louis looked sad. I knew I had to choose my words wisely. I didn’t want to make Louis feel worse, but the idea of the guy I loved having sex with Louis made me very confused and jealous. I couldn’t help wondering if Harry was ignoring the conversation with Lou because he was scared he might be gay. What was I thinking? There was no way the guy I was with in the bathroom, twice tonight was gay. “Do you still fancy Harry?” I asked carefully.

            “I’m not sure, it’s been so awkward between us lately and I think he has been avoiding taking to me one on one. I just want to talk about it, even if it goes nowhere I need to close that door properly. You know?” Louis looked at me timidly. I was jealous yes, but more than that I was impressed Louis had been so honest with me. He knew my feelings for Harry and what had gone on between us that afternoon and yet he didn’t lie to me.

            “Where does that leave us Louis? Are we competing for Harry?” I asked. I immediately regretted being so selfish about it but Louis had been honest with me so I guess being honest with him was the right thing to do.  “Because I need to tell you something.” Louis looked at me like he was waiting for his name to get called in PE class. “I had it off with Harry in the Bathroom tonight, I know you are feeling confused about where the two of you stand, but I just don’t think he’s gay.” Again it was blunt but by now I knew Louis and I were friends and I couldn’t have said it better, really.

            “Oh Lola. I know Harry isn’t gay. I’m sure he enjoyed you thoroughly.” Louis said stroking my bare shoulder. “But he certainly isn’t put off by being affectionate with a man. He and I have that in common”

            Given what I knew of Louis this was easy to believe, but Harry? I was still struggling to wrap my head around the idea of Harry with another guy.  Could Harry prefer Louis to me? Sure I could hold my own against the Morgan’s in Harry’s life but If he wanted something I could never give him where did that leave us? I pushed away my jealousy and hugged Louis tightly. Tonight there was no one else in the world who could understand how I was feeling except him. I let go of him and said,  “We’ll figure this out. I’m not sure how, but I know we will.”

            Louis stood up and opened the closet. He tossed several things out and then handed me some jack wills sweats and a hooded jumper. Glad to get out of my dress I took the clothes into the bathroom to change. When I came out Louis had already changed and flipped on the tv. “Want to get a movie?” he asked. I nodded and he put his arm out for me to come sit with him. I walked over to the bed and crawled in. It didn’t feel weird at all to be snuggled in with Louis. We were a good fit with each other despite the fact that we had some pretty good reasons to no get along.  I curled in closer to him and rested my head on his chest while he picked the movie.  The previews started and Louis pressed a tiny kiss on the top of my head laughing softly. “What a shit pair we are Lola!”