“You can’t go five minutes without having some sort of crisis, can you?” Lucas groaned.
Aaron wrinkled his nose. “This isn’t a crisis, I’m just confused.”
Lucas raised his eyebrows. “You can’t be serious. You don’t see what’s happening here?”
“Is something happening? I’m wondering about chest pains!”
“‘Chest pains’.” Lucas scoffed. “You’re a dumbass.”
“Excuse me?”
“Tightening in your chest, but only when Miles does something particularly touching or cute?”
Aaron crossed his arms. “When did I say that?”
“You said it happened when he hugged you, took care of you while you were hungover, helped you in class, and brought you Chinese takeout. Things that you probably found adorable.”
Aaron huffed. “‘Adorable’ is not in my lexicon. Miles isn’t adorable”
“Use whatever word you want; you like him.”
“You’re being crazy again,” Aaron grumbled. “I told you not to be mental about my friends anymore.”
Lucas put his palm to his face. “For fuck’s sake. You’re blind, aren’t you?”
“I’m only farsighted, and I’m wearing my contacts,” Aaron argued.
“Dumbass,” Lucas said again. “You’re even more romantically challenged than I am, and that is hard to do.”
“You still haven’t talked to Lyssa, have you?” Aaron smirked. “Is she still cheating?”
Lucas sighed. “Y’know, I don’t even want to know anymore. She pretty much ignores me. But that isn’t what we’re talking about right now!”
“What are we talking about?”
“You’re in love with Miles!”
Aaron rolled his eyes. “You’re starting to sound like a broken record. I feel like I’ve heard this before, like a million times.” He shook his head. “Just give it up, Lucas! There’s nothing going on between me and Miles!”
Lucas’s brow furrowed. “Wasn’t that improper grammar?”
Aaron shrugged. “What’s it to you?”
“You never use bad grammar. I’ve always thought it was weird. Where did you pick that up from?”
Aaron narrowed his eyes. “The correct syntax for that is ‘from where--”
“I don’t care! You picked it up from Miles, didn’t you? You’re even starting to talk like him! How are you still denying this?”
“Never underestimate my powers of denial,” Aaron instructed, lifting his chin dramatically.
“The only thing I’ve underestimated is your ability to be an idiot,” Lucas retorted. “I’m not talking to you about this anymore. If you’re gonna ignore everything I say, I don’t see the point.”
“Maybe I wouldn’t ignore you if you didn’t say the same things over and over again,” Aaron pointed out. “Seriously. It’s basically just ‘Aaron you’re being stupid again, Aaron you’re in love with one of your friends, Aaron why can’t you just take care of yourself, Aaron, be quiet so I can repeat some more things’ over and over again. It’s exhausting!” he exclaimed, gesturing enthusiastically. “Honestly, I don’t even know how you keep at it. I’m getting tired just thinking about it.” He ran a hand through his hair and slouched, feigning exhaustion.
YOU ARE READING
I'm Going Slightly Mad
Humor'I'm Going Slightly Mad' follows Aaron Magro, a college student trying to adjust as life throws obstacle after obstacle at him. Balancing his studies, a job, and friends begins to wear on him, and as he finds himself resenting every unneeded turn of...
