The Land of Stories: Gleeful Days Are Here Again

The Rubble or Our Sins

15. The Rubble or Our Sins

In which things are getting hard... (and kind of difficult, too...)

"Our next stop is a place we've all been before," Froggy told the group assembled around the breakfast table the following morning. "The Evil Queen's castle."

"This one should be easy," Chris said. "We know for sure what her most prized possession was, and we know exactly where to find it."

"Plus, we don't have to worry about running into the Evil Queen herself, since she got swallowed up by the Mirror of True Love the last time we were here," Darren added.

"Yes, but don't forget that the mirror shattered into a million pieces, and the castle is now in ruins. I, for one, am not excited about the prospect of digging through a mountain of rubble in search of tiny shards of glass," Rachel said.

"Guess who's not gonna be an optimist about this..." Kurt muttered to Blaine under his breath.

Rachel either didn't hear him or chose to ignore his comment.

"My mom taught me a trick for picking up broken glass," Chris said. "All we need to do is sweep up the bigger pieces, and then run a damp towel over the floor to get the remaining fragments."

"Ooh, my mom does the same thing," Darren said, squeezing Chris's hand.

Then, to the rest of the group, he added, "This seems like pretty straightforward housework, so if the rest of you want to take the day off, I'm sure Chris and I could handle it on our own."

"Well, you know housework is certainly not my thing," Rachel said. "I have servants to take care of that. So if you two wouldn't mind, I'd be glad to stay here on the ship."

Froggy gave Chris and Darren an apologetic smile before putting his arm around Rachel. "And I'd love to stay here with you," he told her.

Kurt and Blaine exchanged looks. "Maybe we'd better accompany you to the castle ruins," Blaine said.

"Just in case you run into any danger," Kurt added.

...

Chris, Darren, Kurt, and Blaine were in high spirits as they set off together. Compared to climbing the beanstalk, navigating the path to the Evil Queen's castle was like a walk in the park. And, regardless of the excuse Kurt had made for why he and Blaine weren't staying on the ship with Rachel and Froggy, none of them expected to run into any trouble.

As they approached the ruined castle, Chris was surprised by the extent of the devastation. The last time he'd been there, he'd been in such a state of shock - between nearly drowning and then hearing that Darren had been knocked unconscious by a falling stone - that he hadn't realized how completely Sir Cooper's army had destroyed the castle. It was, unfortunately, as Rachel had predicted, a mountain of rubble.

"Oh... Where do we begin?" Darren asked.

"Let's start by finding the drawbridge," Kurt suggested. "From there, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to retrace the route we took to the room with the Mirror of True Love."

The four circled the castle, peering down into the moat. Three-quarters of the way around, they spotted the remains of the drawbridge. Darren immediately began stripping off his clothes.

"Sweetie, what are you doing?" Chris asked.

"The drawbridge is at the bottom of the moat, so we're obviously going to have to swim across. Since I don't feel like spending the rest of the day in wet clothes, I'm gonna leave mine here."

Kurt and Blaine obviously saw the wisdom in this, as they both began stripping as well. Chris hesitated for a moment, and then followed suit.

When all four were naked, Blaine pulled a couple of towels from their pack. "We each brought a towel to use to collect pieces of the mirror. I think we should leave two of them here with our clothes so we can dry off once we get back," he suggested.

The others nodded their agreement.

Blaine then rummaged around some more in the pack before bringing out a small whisk broom, a dustpan, and the thick leather purse Rachel had given them.

"Everyone pick something to carry across the moat. The towels can get wet, since we'll want them damp to wipe up the mirror shards anyway, but I think it's best if we try to keep the rest of this stuff as dry as we can."

Darren grabbed the towels, Chris took the broom, and Kurt chose the dustpan, leaving Blaine holding Rachel's purse.

With a rebel yell, Darren cannonballed into the moat. A moment later, as his head broke the surface, he let out a high-pitched shriek that even Chris didn't think he could match. "Oh my god! This water is fucking freezing!"

Darren flailed his way across the moat as quickly as he could and hauled himself out on the other side, where he lay gasping and shivering. Chris suddenly remembered that the last time he'd been in this moat, he'd ended up with hypothermia.

"Come on," Kurt said bracingly. "We can do this. We'll keep our heads out of the water, so we won't lose as much body heat."

Reluctantly, the remaining three lowered themselves into the icy water. It was difficult to swim while holding the whisk broom, dustpan, and purse aloft, but eventually they all made it across the moat.

"In hindsight, it would have been a good idea to try to keep the towels dry," Chris said ruefully.

Darren snapped one of the wet towels at his ass, missing by inches. Chris snatched up the other wet towel and retaliated. Soon the two were chasing each other around the grassy bank in front of the ruined castle, wielding their makeshift weapons with lots of flair but no actual contact.

Both men were squealing and giggling like little kids as they dodged this way and that. Eventually, Darren doubled over with laughter, unable to run anymore. Chris took the opportunity to hit him with a flying tackle, and the two rolled over and over in the grass before coming to rest with Chris on top, gazing down into Darren's wide eyes.

Chris was suddenly aware of every molecule of his skin where it was pressed up against his boyfriend's naked body. He felt himself beginning to grow hard, and Darren's answering reaction. His eyes slid to Darren's softly parted lips. Without thinking, he began to lower his head.

"Well, that's one way to warm up," Kurt said, breaking the moment.

Chris jerked his head back just in time. He scrambled to his feet, hastily wrapping one of the wet towels around his waist before reaching down to help Darren up. Darren slung the other towel casually over his shoulder.

"Um, Dare," Chris said, casting a significant look toward his boyfriend's obvious erection, "you might want to reposition that towel."

"What's the big deal? We're all guys. It happens. There's no sin in it. It's perfectly natural."

"Yeah, but not everything that's perfectly natural needs to be seen in public. I think you're making our friends uncomfortable."

Darren turned to Kurt and Blaine. "You're not uncomfortable with the fact that I'm turned on by my boyfriend, are you? I mean, look at him. He's hot, right?"

Kurt and Blaine glanced at each other, then at Chris, clearly unsure of the correct answer.

"Darren, I'm about to drown you in that moat!" Chris snapped. "This situation is hard enough without - "

The rest of Chris's statement was cut off by a chorus of snorts and guffaws from the other three. He spluttered indignantly for a few moments before giving in and joining the laughter.

End Notes: Since this story is set during the summer of 2012, any apparent references to the Bastille song "Pompeii" are purely coincidental. ;D