Perfume

Chapter Seventeen - Poison & Medicine

~     bella     ~

When I went back into the room, Linden was on my bed. Murmuring to himself. I laughed and climbed back in. "What are saying, Linden?" I asked him, snuggling up to him.

       And that's when I felt him shake. 

      I sat up and I looked at his face. He was smiling. And sweat ran down his face. His eyes. Their pupils dialated. I shook him by the shoulders but he didn't respond. And I knew he wasn't seeing me. I knew he was somewhere. He was experiencing the delirium so many of my victims had experienced. 

      Linden had been poisoned. 

      I froze, my mouth gaping, my heart burning and beating hard and fast. How? How had this happened? I stood up and looked around the room; looked under the bed. Looked everywhere. And then I found it. On my desk. The perfume bottle I had left there the other day. I knew Linden had smelled it. And now he was poisoned. And now he would die. 

      I stopped and I thought. What had been my estimate for the killing time? Three hours? No, it had been longer. Around five hours. Yes, Linden had about five hours to live. 

      And it was all my fault. I had caused this. I had made that perfume and I had left it out. I was going to lose Linden. The boy I loved, the boy who made me feel wanted, the boy who showed all the different types of love that existed in the world. He was going to die and it was all my fault.

      A monster ripped at my stomach and I let it. I let it, because I deserved the pain. Because I had let this happen. I should have put that perfume bottle away. I should have disposed of it. I was stupid. I was a monster. I had distroyed my own happiness. I was the only one to blame.

      Tears burned in my eyes, but I did not shed them. 

      I sat on the foot of the bed and I closed my eyes. I had five hours. Five hours and I would lose it all. Five hours and he would be gone. Five hours and it would all end.

      The clock was ticking.

I wasted time. I sat there and I wasted time. But his time was up so was there really any time to waste at all? There was no time, so I could waste no time. There was nothing I could do. I had ruined. I had screwed it all up. I thought about the first time we met. During that false fire alarm, when I was rushing out of class, along with everybody else. And then we bumped and my stuff spilled all over the floor. He had helped me pick everything up and that was when I saw his eyes. His grey-blue eyes that intrigued me. And his mouth. Naturally pink. The way he smiled, the way he talked...and then at the coffee shop. The way he defended me before knowing I was the Belladonna...And then us having coffee and talking...All those days talking, laughing, telling stories...Him telling he loved me...Me letting him in...He letting me in...Us kissing, touching, laughing, loving...Christmas Eve at his house...sleeping in his bed that day...every moment with Linden appeared in my mind...every single one sweater than the last one...he loved me for who I was, for what I was...He loved every single part of me. And I was going to lose it all. 

      In reality, I had poisoned him. I had reiled him in. I had charmed him and I had fallen in love. But you couldn't fall with a monster without getting hurt. 

      You couldn't kiss a Deadly Nightshade without getting poisoned. 

I had four hours left when Clara walked into my room. 

      I still hadn't cried. I still hadn't done anything. 

      Clara came to me. She wore a startled look. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was slightly open. She gestured to the bed where poisoned Linden, still muttering, still in his delirium, lay.