Secrets & Lies

Chapter One

"Alex I think we should break up." Hanna said looking out the cabin window at the lush green Swedish forest.

"What? We are great together?" Alex said sitting down on an old log chair that his great, great grandfather had built, as well as, the cabin in the woods.

"We have had a good time, but I want something more. I want to be with someone who has goals. You don't want to be anything. You don't want to do anything but hang out with your friends, drink and fuck." Hanna complained.

"I just don't want to go to college it doesn't mean I don't want to do anything." Alex retorted.

"Well, I'm not going to be tied to you forever. I want more in life than to be with a guy who lives off his parents because he has no aim in life." Hanna shouted before grabbing her weekend bag and storming out of the cabin slamming the door behind her. A few moments later her tires where grinding down the gravel path heading home to Denmark. Hanna had only stayed one night of the proposed long weekend arriving later then Alex because she had told him she had to work, something Alex would have never thought to question. He had never questioned anything Hanna had told him in the year that they had been together. He had always let her take charge of their relationship, something he now realized he had done with all of the girls he had dated. He was always the relaxed one, the guy who went with the flow and did what his friends and girlfriends wanted not the leader Hanna had apparently wanted him to be.

Alex sat in the chair and thought about what Hanna said. He didn't live off his parents he had his own money. Money he had earned acting and modeling since he was a baby. It was his family business and even though he didn't like it he went along with it.

Alex realized that Hanna did have a valid point he really did have to figure out what he wanted in life. Modeling and acting were not something he loved to do, not even something he liked to do; he did it because he thought that was what was expected of him. Slowly Alex closed up the cabin making sure not to leave any food so that mice wouldn't want to invade their family vacation home in Sweden. After checking everything a second time he locked up and headed to his car. Hanna was long gone by now, probably almost to Malmö and the Oresundsbron Bridge. Alex entered his car and headed home to Denmark thinking about his choices. College didn't sound like all that much fun, but acting wasn't what he wanted either. So what choice was left? Most of his friends had goals and plans for their future unfortunately he did not. Alex returned to his crowded and noisy home no closer to a decision than when he had left Sweden.

"Alex I'm glad your back." His Mom said, "Here take the baby, she needs her blöja changed." She stated handing him Lena, Alex's one year old baby sister.  Alex took the baby to her room and changed her diaper then sat on the floor and the two of them played with some blocks. He loved Lena very much, all his siblings really, but Alex had decided a long time ago that he never wanted to have children. Alex couldn't figure out why his parents wanted to have so many. Alex was the oldest of seven children already. Sex was fun and all but why couldn't his parents figure out how to prevent having a kid every few years. As Alex sat on the floor building towers for Lena to knock down he realized suddenly he needed to get out of the house.

"Lena I need to go." He cooed to the baby.

"Bye, bye." Lena said in her sweet baby voice.

"Yes, bye, bye." He agreed with Lena.

"No bye!" Lena screamed in her baby voice and crawled into his lap and touched his unshaved cheek.

"Kids time for dinner!" His Dad yelled up the stairs. Alex scooped up Lena and headed for the dinning room, all of Alex's siblings, came charging out of different rooms in the large house ready to eat. Alex carefully placed Lena in her chair and sat down at the table with his large family. Alex looked around at the strange Scandinavian group. Technically they were Danish being that they were all born and raised in Denmark but his mother was Swedish and she always claimed that they were more Swedish than Danish. They certainly looked like Swedes in that they were tall and fair but then again so were most Danes. The two cultures were so closely tied Alex didn't understand or care why it made a difference except for the fact that it was simply a matter of pride. What Alex liked the most about his family was how incredibly close they all were. During the long cold winter months they had each other so they never felt lonely especially as children. Being the oldest he always had to help with the younger children and when he was younger he liked creating games and activities and leading them, but when he wasn't at home it was different. He didn't want to be in charge. He didn't want to tell others what to do. He just wanted to be part of the group and let others be in charge for a change. Realizing this as he sat at his family table listening to his siblings talk about their day he began to understand why he didn't know what he wanted out of life, and why Hanna had left him for someone with ideas and a goal for their life.