Aries: an emo band leader
Taurus: owning a restaurant
Gemini: living in a mansion
Cancer: being chased by the paparazzi
Leo: owning a condom factory
Virgo: founder of a very important technology
Libra: a model
Scorpio: in a mental hospital
Sagittarius: somewhere in africa on an adventure
Capricorn: earning a billion dollars
Aquarius: a hoe who gets paid a lot
Pisces: also in the mental hospital with Scorpio
