Something that she wants!

Is it all ended?

Love has two sides.... A soft one and a barbaric one... But when you lose love its the side that is worth watching...

Nobody in this world is perfect! Everyone has flaws... Everyone has scars... Everyone has broken pieces and everyone has regrets! In fact that's what life really is... Mistakes! flaws! Helplessness! Devastation! Heartbreaks! Hatred! Sacrifice! Rues! Sorrows!
But after every wave of cataclysm comes a shining ray of ecstasy and serenity!

That's what everyone was trying to tell her but she was too numb to understand!

Something had happened! Undefendable! Unreachable! And reckless! What had happened? Why were they in the hospital? Why was Mrs smith crying? Why was Adam having a heavy heart? What happened? There was a note of defiance! There were lots of questions yet to be answered! lots of people yet be judged! And lots of hearts yet to be broken!

(Two days after she hugged Adam!)

IN HER DAIRY!

2:00pm

Today I asked myself to let go of what happened and start again.... Well if not start again let's just give it a try!
To let go of all the pain of the past and to try to heal the scars!
I am going to shopping!
Let's hope that I will be successful in getting up and moving on!

6:00pm

He was there! With her! I saw them both together again and from the inside I felt as if my former scars have started bleeding again! Oh...

I'm trembling! I think I can not write more!

My head is spinning! I want to breath...

9:00pm

The fault is my own! It was not he who told me to fell in love with him! It was me who did that...so I am the one who will suffer!
What have I done to my life! (Mark of a teardrop)
It is not the way I imagined it!

Its better to feel every emotion and pain then to feel nothing at all! And I am numb to death! How can I feel? The only feeling left in me is not feeling anything at all!

I've always done wrong! Trusting the wrong people always! Loving the wrong person always! I've got three examples in my life! That are
Roger!
Mac!
Jason!
And all of those were the same! Heartless lairs who broke me to that extent that all even my broken pieces are running away from me just so they wont be able to break more!

My life has turned completely upside down! It was my dream to find the love of my life but not all the dreams and wishes come true! Sometime you miss the opportunity or sometimes you die!

All I ever wanted from life was to make my one wish come true! But I guess its not what life wants! It's only wish is to make me stay in this smothering environment and die choking! And if it is its wish... Then I am not gonna let it down the way it did!

I an gonna end it!

(There were blood drops on that page of her dairy with the most painful and breathtaking color ever)