There she was,depression setting in. Dreams: dreams of possibility that she'd find love, true love, real love. She was quickly becoming somebody that she did not recognize. "Who am I?" She'd ask her reflection and stare at herself, in her own eyes, hoping she could find the answer within herself. Nobody knew her,the real her. They only got to see hints of her,how she'd act around them, nobody worthy enough to savor the thoughts,sweet and sacred, from her mind, that was meant for somebody who could see through her exterior and into her interior.
She was afraid, alone, with nobody's comfort and care. No love, she felt as if there was no hope for somebody to love her, nobody came close to loving her like she wanted to be loved.
She was tired. Tired of wasting her precious heart on those who'd break it. She was tired of promises of a better pathway that just,in the end,led to a dead end. She hoped for something more; something fulfilling. Would I get that?she thought, countless hours of war with herself became the norm.
She was broken,damaged. The scars from the cuts in her skin proved that. Unloved,untamed, who am I? ,she thought while analyzing her figure in the mirror,barely clothed.
"My name is Carly Davids,but who am I?" She said aloud,with her voice bouncing off the walls. She lived alone, fresh out of college, filled with the ghosts of the dreams for herself. She was currently a free lancing photographer, but hoped to be a well-known fashion designer.
She dressed in a simple T-shirt, shorts and sandals, nothing special. She tied her hair up into a bun with no make-up at all. She wasn't really the type for such add-ons, she believed in natural beauty and she was easy too look at too which was an advantage.
Her skin tone was that of smooth caramel, she had perfectly shaped dark brown orbs and full lips. She had the appeal to make anybody look her way, but not enough to make them approach. She was lacking something. Self love maybe? Or confidence,she wasn't sure but she was working on it.
She ate her breakfast,grabbed her necessary equipment and headed out. "Time to start my day" she stated as if she had somebody there with her.
She walked out of her apartment building into the blazing hot California sun. She walked down the streets,taking pictures of everything she thought to be beautiful. Parents walking with their children, she wondered, will that be me in the future? Or would I end up alone. She shuddered at the thought of ending up alone.
She took more photographs of her surroundings,the streets,the beach,the joy in the atmosphere. It was mid-day and her stomach was grumbling furiously at her. She decided on going to a small cafe that also offered sandwiches and other small meals. She order herself a chicken mayo sandwhich and a bottle of water.
She took a window seat and enjoyed her meal, her hunger was satisfied. Her phone started buzzing, she'd received a text from one of her three friends, Jordan.
Jordan: Poetry Shack tonight?- 14:50
Carly: I'll be there at 8pm -14:53
I might as well go seeing most of my nights are cold and lonely. Upon that,she emptied her tray and went on her way back home to get ready for the night ahead of her.
YOU ARE READING
Poison
RomanceA love forbidden, the taste of poison in the form of a better path. He was her better path,or maybe he was her poison. He was her oasis in her drought, but soon enough he was like poison in her mouth.
