Trying To Hate You

The Roof (Katniss's P.O.V)

Hi guys! I am very very very very very very *insert a lot of verys* sorry this update has taken probably longer than a month to...do? Do? Is that the right word I'm looking for? I dunno. Anyways here is another update from the awesomest (yes that's a word) person alive! ME! Kidding, I'm very lame. I'm stalling aren't I? Sowwy. Here's the chapter.

(song- Victorious by Panic! At The Disco)

I toss and turn in my bed trying to find a comfortable spot to lay in, nothing has seemed to work. I sigh and very silently get out of bed, I grab a small robe and put it on. When I get into the living room I see Peeta sitting on the window, all of my anger that I had on him disappeared after we separated. I could faintly hear the citizens of the capital cheering and waiting for the games.

"You too?" I ask him, referring to him staying up and not in bed.

"Hmm? Hey." He says.

"Can't sleep?" I asked rephrasing the question.

"No of course not," He says shaking his head and looking back out the window. I walk over and sit across from him.

"I'm sorry I went after you," I apologized.

"You know I meant that as a compliment," he says looking back at me.

"I know," I said smiling at the ground. "Listen to them," I said after a bit of silence.

"Yeah, I just don't want them to change me." I stared at him confused by the sudden statement.

"How would they change you?" I asked.

"I don't know. Turn me into something I'm not. I just don't want to be another piece in their game, you know?"

"You mean you won't kill anyone?" I ask, again confused.

"No. I mean yeah I'm sure I would just like anybody would when the time came. I just keep wishing I could think of a way to show them that they don't own me. You know, if I'm gonna die I wanna still be me. Does that make any sense?" He asks after another bit of silence.

"Yeah. I just can't afford to think like that. I have my sister."

"Yeah I know," he says. After I don't respond he sighs."Have you ever thought of how it must be to be the careers?"

"What?" I asked confused by yet another statement.

"Like, what do you think they're doing now?"

"Sleeping probably, waiting for tomorrow so they can kill us," I answer.

"Will you kill anyone?" He asks me.

"If I have to, I'll do whatever I have to do to get to Prim and Mom." He nods his head.

"Guess we should get to sleep? See you tomorrow, Katniss."

"See you tomorrow." I said giving him a small smile. He gets up and walks to his room, and after he's gone I also get up and go to mine.

Before I was woken up I remembered an odd part of my dream, I was in an arena and I was with someone, they were obviously a girl, you could tell by the sound of her voice. Although their face was blurred. We were hunting other tributes which would be so unlike me. We were trying to find them to try and kill them. We joked and laughed as if it was normal, as if we wanted them all dead. That was so. . . .career like. It wasn't until near the end of the dream where things got weirder; when we finally found a tribute we didn't kill them. We instead let them go, I remember feeling so confused and asked the person why they did that. I then remember the person stabbing me with a knife, I don't think I've ever felt as betrayed as I did in the dream.

I remember repeating the word 'why' over and over again, and the answer was so strange. She said 'I couldn't afford to lose you to someone else'.

Wow, I'm so ashamed. I was expecting this chapter to be longer. . .and better. Well crap, well, I hoped you enjoyed. Vote if you want, I guess same for commenting and subscribing. I'm gonna drown myself in Panic! At The Disco, see ya!

-Grumpy Olivia the Awesome