Warning : Rape, character death
A/N : When I'm sad, I tend to write cruel, sadistic and sad thing.
(Reita's POV)
He is cruel, manipulative and obsessive. Uruha used to be a good boyfriend but he suddenly changed after 'that' incident. I knew that it was my fault for not fighting back and letting that... that evil person touch me the way only lovers did. I didn't enjoyed it and it was forced onto me by that vile person. Uruha didn't believed me, though. Instead, he believed the lies fed onto him by that man and thought I deliberately cheated on him when in all reality, I was violated.
It was sad that he believed his friend... a man he only met occasionally... over me...
The friend he had since five years old and a lover for more than ten years...
At first, he was just distant, cold and neglectful as a boyfriend. Most of the time, he pretended that I did not exist. If I will try to talk to him, he'll reply with brief, uninterested phrases. And if he is not in the mood and is pissed with me, he'll snap and yell as if I'm the most irritating, worthless person ever . I tried holding on to him despite being sad and depressed. I don't deserve this after what had happened but I stupidly love him and was trying to do what I could to mend our relationship.
He's the only one I have, after all... and I cannot afford to lose him because he is all and everything that I've got...
But then, he would start coming home drunk and force himself to me. At first, I let him have his way because honestly, its been a while since the last time he touched me like this. However, he is violent and he reminds me of that night with my rapist. I tried stopping him but whenever I do, he'll tie me down or beat me so hard that I won't be able to move any more in protest before he'll go in dry and violate me. All I can do was sob as I closed my eyes and try to block the pain away.
One day, I limped to the living room, where he silently sits on the sofa with a permanent frown on his face. I honestly miss his smiling, handsome face. However, he stopped doing so ever since the day he started blaming me for the things I am not guilty of.
I approached him shakily in fear. I used to love him but now, there was nothing but fear in me towards him. Sure, I still love him but I knew, I'll end up dead if I'll go on with this hypocrisy and therefore, I must end everything before it get that worst.
So, in my stuttering, broken voice... I asked him to break up with me...
At first, he just stared at me blankly. But then, he started charging towards me and started punching on my already bruised body. I fell on the ground when he landed a strong punch on my face and hit my head on the corner of something. I felt something dripped down the back of my head and nape but I ignored it and tried to scoot as far as I could from him. He started yelling at me and accused me of cheating and that I'm just going to run away with my rapist.
I tried begging him to stop. I whimpered in fear as he held onto my collar... and then, ripped my clothes open. I knew where this was going and I don't want it to take place. I'm still sore and I don't want to be violated.
"U-Uruha... P-p-please... Stop...." I begged through my busted lip as he ignored my plea. I was a crying mess by now and all I can do was cry as I relieve my traumatizing memory by the hands of the person I love.
I knew he no longer loves me. That he only hates me and only keeps me in this abusive relationship to make me suffer. He refuses to acknowledge our break up and keeps me in our apartment. He would even go as far as locking me in our room. I'm getting skinny too because I would only eat when he was around. If he would come home drunk, he'll just rape me and I myself would no longer have the appetite to eat.
I missed those days when we were still okay. When he'll kiss me anytime he want and would surprise me with every little thing whenever he comes back home. I missed those days when he'll touch me with love and not hate. I missed his old self... but I knew that I'll never ever going to get back to those days.
I sighed as I laid on the bed. My throat is parched and I'm starving. My sight would black out every time I'll try to stand and I'm stuck to laying down the bed. I don't think I would last long with this abuse. Even if I could, I no longer want to...
Uruha no longer cares. He no longer loves me. He hates me so much, I won't even be surprised if he'll accidentally kill me one day. Not that he hasn't done that, emotionally, already. I'd prefer if I'll kill my self than let the person I loved so much do with his own hands.
It's painful... and I want this pain to end...
So, with the last ounces of strength I had, I stood up carefully. I took a pen and a paper and wrote a short letter to my beloved before I went to the bathroom...
~~~~~~~~
To my one and only precious person,
I love you.
I hope that you'll never forget it.
You are the only person in my life who showed me how it was to be loved and I really thank you for that.
Maybe, it was my fault that everything in between us changed...
I wish to see you smile one last time...
But I guess, It'll be too late to see one now...
I love you, Uruha.
And I'm sorry.
Don't worry...
I'll take all the pain away with me...
Reita.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I guess, if only I have friends who truly cares for me...
... instead of depending on Uruha's love blindly despite it becoming so much to the point of hate...
I wouldn't be sleeping eternally in a pool of deep red...
But at least...
At least...
There is one person who loved me so much...
... my memories would not be forgotten.
Forget-me-not...
Uruha
