Poetry

Sun and moon

Astronomy was always an interest to me. The way the silent stars watched me as I sat in on the dew covered grass in my garden and the way the moon changed shape every day.  I loved it.  But perhaps that never changed and maybe I'm just pessimistic.  But when I see you give me that look I automatically believe this is the end of life as we know it.  Because for a second I mistake that look to be a look of love and I cannot believe that someone like you could ever love someone like me.Because in that moment it feels like my stars are all aligning at once,  creating a feeling of asteroids in my stomach that's commonly mistaken for butterflies but this is more violent than butterflies. Your perfect pale face reminds me of the moon and the thing with the moon is that it's always there.  And perhaps that's what I'm afraid of.  You're my moon and I'm petrified that I may be your sun.  Because the sun will explode one day into a deep black abyss leaving nothing behind but dust.  The stars will rain down and  the moon will still be there.  Sitting. Waiting. Just like you. Maybe I know you'd wait for me.  And maybe that's something I'm not okay with , because one day what if I decide I don't want to be your sun and I don't want the moon poking out behind the fluffy,  smoke like clouds at midday.  But then again Maybe I don't want to be happy.  Maybe people like me are simply meant to die alone. I constantly turn to these depressing,  self destructive thoughts in times of happiness in fear of smiling,  in fear of abandoning my state of deep depression. But when I look into your galaxy eyes the feeling of fear slowly disappears.  Until you're gone. And maybe I'm scared that something as simple as you could fill me with a feeling like this.  But you light up my universe,  as corny as that sounds. You create a life inside of me that I never even knew I was capable of having.  You fill me with a fire I never felt before. And it burns. My cheeks alight at the sound of your name and your happiness radiates off of me like light on a mirror.  So I have to think. Because I loved astronomy as a child and I was always fascinated with the constellations and the stars and planets so although I believed you were my beautiful moon I have now realised that  you're more than that. You're the centre of my life. So you're not my moon and I'm not your sun.  Because you're my entire universe. Sadly one day the universe may implode and life as we know it may end but that's okay.  Because the memories we wrote into the stars will always remain as scars on our hearts and to me that's okay.