EMILY

11: Fan Boys

Track 11

"Game?" Miggy asked. We're currently at the backstage and anytime, sasalang na kami.

"Hell yeah." The boys said in chorus. Ako naman, tumango na lang kasi ang totoo niyan, hindi pa ako ready. Parang gusto kong mag-back out bigla. I'm nervous as hell.

I felt a hand squeezed my shoulder. Pag tingin ko, si Yosef pala.

"Just enjoy it." Sabi niya saka ako binigyan ng isang ngiti. That kind na i-a-assure ka that everything will be fine.

I took a deep breath then I smiled back at him. Before I knew it, tinatawag na pala kami sa stage.

Pero bago kami pumunta doon, the five of us formed a mini circle and had a group prayer and some sort of words of encouragement courtesy of Luigi.

"Manalo, matalo, enjoy lang natin. For the Big One up there, lezz do this!" tapos pinagpatong-patong namin ang mga kamay namin sa gitna ng bilog at sabay-sabay na itinaas ang mga ito.

Whooooh! Sigaw ko sa isip ko para pakawalan ang kabang nararamdaman ko kanina pa. Actually, kahapon pa noong sinabi nila na ngayon na pala 'to. Nabawasan naman ito kahit paano. Siguro from 100%, mga nasa 95% na lang.

And then the moment of truth has come.

"Hi!" Bati ko sa crowd habang hawak-hawak ng mahigpit ang mic na nasa stand, my voice breaking. My palms are now cold and sweaty. I could feel my heart in my throat.

Parang in an instant, nag-level up ulit yung kaba ko to 100% nung nakita ko yung audience. It was big. Hindi man kasing laki noong Yellow Light o gig dito ng CS, matao pa rin nevertheless. And there were the judges sitting in a long table sa gitna. They all looked so serious at parang mangangain ng buhay.

Idagdag mo pa yung fact na kami ang huling banda na tutugtog. I have this fear na isa-isang mag-walk out yung mga tao because they got bored.

I witnessed a lot of those during big events with a heavy line up of artists. Ang sama sa pakiramdam, tingnan mo pa lang. What more kung ikaw ang nandun at nakasalang? I don't know how I would deal with that.

Tumingin ako kina Miggy na nag-se-set up ng mga gamit para i-divert ang atensyon ko.

Ice shifted his gaze at me after he adjusted the drum kit to his preference. Yep, he's the drummer.

He showed me an ok sign by forming a circle using his thumb and forefinger and gave me a huge grin. After that, he started tuning his drums together with our bassist, Yosef.

Habang si Miggy naman, tinotono na rin ang black and white Stratocaster niya at ganun din si Luigi na sine-set up ang wireless plug ng kanyang lead guitar.

Sooooooo what shall I do? Hindi naman pwede na nakatayo lang ako na parang ewan habang busy ang mga kasama ko.

Inisip ko kung ano ba ang madalas na ginagawa ng mga frontman and frontwoman sa mga ganitong pagkakataon. Right. They talk to the crowd.

I took a deep breath once again bago ko ibinalik ang tingin sa mga tao. Kaya mo yan Eimee, i-enjoy mo lang. Just act natural.

And then I did what I felt like doing. I talked to the people. I greeted them first and asked kung inaantok na ba sila, kung ok pa ba sila sa pwesto nila bilang alas-diyes na ng gabi. Mabuti na lang may mga sumasagot din naman sa akin.

At mabuti na lang, dumating yung mga kaklase ko paran suportahan kami. Wala kasi sila kanina. They are getting wild, hindi pa nga kami nagsisimula. Pero nakatulong yun para mawala yung pre-show anxiety na kanina ko pa nararamdaman.