DADDY'S LITLLE ANGEL // NARRY AU

Chapter 24// Procrastinate me

AN: AYYYE I UPDATED ON TIMEEEEEE

Niall sat in his kitchen the entire day, biting his nails, scared for what was coming. He'd asked for it, of course, but after being alone with his thoughts for so long, he wasn't sure anymore whether this was what he really wanted or not.

Did he really want to know the truth?

What if Harry was cheating on him with Nick? What would happen then?

Did he really want to cause himself so much pain?

No.

Niall knew that it'd tear him apart. He loved Harry, he fucking loved that boy with all of his being. Niall knew that he'd have to throw the curly haired boy out of his life. But he also knew that he wasn't, nor ever would be strong enough to do that.

But he didn't want to end up alone and sad either, forever grieving for his dead love and thinking about what could have been. Niall knew himself, he knew he'd start overthinking, and that he'd blame himself for all of it.

He couldn't do that.

He'd break himself more than Harry ever could.

Niall didn't want to end up on his cold kitchen floor at three a.m., alcohol rushing through his veins as the tears hit the floor. He didn't want to end up crying himself to sleep every night, wondering why oh why he hadn't been enough for Harry.

Niall didn't understand how after all this silence he could still see the good in Harry, but he did, and he hated himself for it. He felt so young, so weak, so naïve. And maybe, he really was.

And what if Harry would just lie to him?

Niall was hoping to hear an explanation. He was so so eager to believe anything, everything. Just if he hadn't cheated on him. If he just had not made love to Nick, the way he has made love to him.

But then again, what if Harry'd lie? He could just tell Niall that nothing had happened, and Niall would believe him immediately. What could he do? It was way too easy to believe something when people are telling you exactly what you want to hear.

And what if Harry would come here and break down crying, telling him that he had in fact cheated on him, but that he was oh so sorry?

Would he take him back?

Oh yes he would.

Of course an apology is just an apology, and you can never really apologize for ripping away someone's heart and destroying every piece of their soul. And of course, cheating wasn't a mistake, it was a choice, and Niall knew that too.

And even though he could just be sorry for Niall finding out, and not for the cheating, Niall would take him back in a heartbeat, and that sad a hell of a lot more about Niall than about Harry.

Maybe Niall was just too desperate. Or too naïve. Maybe you just had to deal with things like this in order to be with the one you loved. Did that make any sense?

So did he really want to know?

No.

But did he need to know?

Hell yes.

Because he knew that if he'd just ignore the whole affair, he'd look into Harry's eyes every time Harry told Niall he loved him, and wonder if he'd told Nick the same thing. Maybe every time they would be having sex, Harry would yell out his name, and Niall would wonder how Nick's name would sound rolling of his lips.