Papá's Girl

One More Second Chance

©JRF2016

"Why are you cryin' baby?"  He looked at her with those soft, kind eyes as he wiped another tear from her eye.  She smiles up at him and wraps her arms around his neck before responding to his question.  "Doesn't matter now."

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I've  been by her side day in and day out.  I can't believe she's lying here injured with her life is just hanging in the balance.  I just want to be able to hear her voice again.  Carol's been by every day to check on her and change the bandages and she is standing over me now, just watching.  It's making my skin crawl and I shiver before looking up at her.  "What do you want?"  I snarl at her.

"Why don't you get some rest.  I'll stay here with her."  Carol put her hand on my shoulder in that tender way she has.  "No way, I'm going to be here when she wakes up.  I have to be, I have to be the first person she sees when she wakes up."  I slide over onto the edge of the bed and pull back the blanket.  "I can lay right here with her and get some sleep if I need to."  I pull my legs up onto the bed and stretch them out, putting my right hand under my head and then turning to look at Isabella. 

        She started whimpering in her sleep and I sat up a little to look at her face.  I couldn't help but wonder what she was dreaming about, wishing that I could help, wishing I could make her feel better.  I rested my hand on her cheek and rubbed my thumb back ad forth over her soft skin and then kissed her forehead.  "I love you."  I don't know if she can hear me or not but I whisper it over and over again anyway.

        She has been so still and quiet since that day that I could only feel that I was losing her for good but now, she is starting to stir a little and it is giving me so much hope.  I am ready to look into those fiery Dixon eyes of hers and have her look back at me.  "I think she's gonna wake up soon." 

"I hope you're right," Carol said as she stood next to the bed looking down at the two of us, "She's had a couple of close calls, I hope that's over.  We all miss her."  I watch her as she walks out the door.  Something deep down inside of me stirs and I stand up to follow her outside.  It's been so long and I need something.  I need her, right now.  I quickly catch up to her and slide my hand over her hip pulling her back and turning her around.  I push her gently up against the wall and stand in front of her, gazing into her blue eyes and I smile.  "What do you say you and me slip out on our own for a little while, you know, for a little special time?"  I wink at her and she gives me a slight shove as she lets out a little chuckle.  It's not that 'get lost' shove that I was actually expecting.  It was a flirtatious shove, an 'I want you to shove'.  She wants it as bad as I do right now.  "Get real," she says as her head fell a little and I notice a small flush on her cheeks.  I stoop down a little and look into her eyes again before lightly pressing my lips to hers.  She hesitates at first but then her hands drift down to my hips and she pulls me in tighter giving me the go ahead.  I take my cue and I tangle my fingers in her short, gray hair and press our lips together even harder.  "Carol," I groan out her name as my hands follow her curves.  She moans into my mouth and I can feel myself getting stiffer.  She finally pushes back and stares into my eyes before taking me by the hand and leading back to her room. 

         There is a small sliver of sunlight flickering across the floor of this room and I jump up frantically looking for the rest of my clothes.  "What's your hurry?"  Carol's sweet voice sounds from behind me.  I turn around and see her propped up on her elbow, smiling at me.  "I got to get back.  What if she woke up while I was gone?"    She slides off the bed and sashays over to me, pressing her beautiful, naked body against mine.  "I think she'll understand.  We needed this, it's been a long time coming and she'll forgive you for that."  She extends herself on her tiptoes and kisses me.  My hand slides down and I squeeze her left cheek as I lift her up and pull her against my body deepening that kiss while sliding my tongue around the inside of her mouth. 

"Papá!"  I spin around to see Isabella standing in the doorway.  I wipe the powder that had been stuck to my face from last night and I cleared my throat standing to my feet to face my daughter.  "This stuff ain't no good for you Papá and you know it.  You need to quit this or I'm gonna have to leave!"  I wrap my arm around her shoulder and laugh.  "Aww, baby girl, you can't leave your Papá.  You need me," I stop and look down at my feet.  "No your Papá needs you."  I correct myself as she smiles at me. 

"Si, hai bisogno di me.   Tu dovresti essere il buco del culo genitore."  {Yeah, you need me.  You're supposed to be the parent asshole.} 

"Ahh, Bella Rose, you're such a good girl."  She groans at me as she walks me to the bedroom and flips me onto the the bed.  From my position lying on the bed I look up at the beautiful little lady that my daughter has grown to be and I sigh.  "I love you so much little Bella Rose."  Before I pass out I think I catch a glimpse of her rolling her eyes at me but my buzz is wearing off and I'm so tired for being up for the last thirty-six hours that I can't even respond. 

           When I finally woke up in a sober state the house was completely silent.  I walk around the darkened house looking in every room and calling for Isabella but not getting any answer.  I look through the last room when a realization comes over me, she's gone.  She left because all I seem to care about is my drugs.  Getting high is more important than my little girl, but it's not.  I miss her and there's nothing I can do to get her back.  I don't even know where to start to look for her.  For the first time in my life I was feeling a real loss.  Isabella was the one person I never wanted to lose and now I've pushed her away, probably for good.

         I pull out of the entrancing kiss I was sharing with Carol as I stare at my feet.  I feel a tear slip down my cheek as I remember letting Bella down.  Carol lifts my chin and cups my face in her hands.  "She'll be okay, Merle," she reassures me, "She is your daughter, she's tough." 

"I'm a lousy father, I always have been.  She'd probably be better off if she never would have found me again.  It's my fault that prick even attacked the prison to begin with, if it wasn't for me she wouldn't have gotten hurt in that attack and she wouldn't be in the shape she's in now, clinging to life."

"That's not true," Carol spoke sternly now as she forced me to keep looking her in the eyes, "Isabella loves you, she needs you."  Carol pulls me into a hug as I hear feet shuffling outside and a weak voice speak up.  "Papá?"  Carol quickly stoops down grabbing a blanket off the bed and throwing it over herself as I look up at the doorway to see Isabella standing there.  "Bella Rose," I whisper in shock as I walk over and take her in my arms.  "You really need to be in the bed baby girl."

"I think I've been there long enough," she answered back, "How long have I been there?"  She looked back at Shane before meeting my gaze again. 

"Too damn long, baby girl, too damn long."

"So what happened?"  Shane rubbed the back of his neck and then ran his hand over the top of his head as he held onto my little girl.  "We don't need to get into all that right now babe.  You just woke up, let's just focus on that."