Papá's Girl

Secrets

   ©JRF2016

   Merle walks outside after finally getting some rest from last night's big walker fight to see Isabella and Shane huddled up in the corner of the porch. "Hey baby girl.  Whatcha up to?" Isabella jumped nearly falling out of Shane's lap. "Uh, nothing Papá." She stands to her feet and kisses him on the cheek before running off into the house. Shane stays seated and stares up at Merle with a smug look and an uncontrollable smile on his face. Merle rolls his eyes and walks away. He only gets a few feet away when he feels a soft hand land on his arm and he looks over to see Carol's shining eyes. She has that incredible smile of hers plastered on her face. "I want to talk to you Merle. We haven't had a chance to talk since the prison."

"What about you and my brother? Ain't you got somethin' goin' with him?" She shook her head. "Well, he seemed awful jealous when he found out we, you know. And didn't I hear you call him pookie, what's that about?"

"Yeah, you may have, it's just a little nickname I gave him to make him squirm.  I think of Daryl like a little brother." Merle smiles at her and rests his arm on her shoulders. He glances back at Shane, Isabella has joined him again and is sitting on his lap. Merle's jaw clenches. Carol turns his gaze back her fingers resting softly on his chin. "Don't worry about them. You need to focus on me right now." She places a short, soft kiss on his lips and then leads him away.

     The two of them are wrapped tight in each other's arms as they lay quietly in Carol's bed.  They have been here for a while just talking.   Carol has her head resting on Merle's chest fiddling the the fabric of his t-shirt. "In a lot of ways you kind of remind me of Ed." She whispers as he rubs his hand up and down her back. He lets out a small sigh.

"So you think I'm the kind of guy that would beat the shit out of his woman?  You think I'm that kind of asshole?"

"No, I don't think you are.  He was an real asshole but he could be quite charming when he wanted to.  You remind me of him a little in that you can be really charming when you want to, but you're not, you're not really an asshole.  You like to pretend you are so people won't come to you but you're not." She sits up now looking into his sparkling blue eyes before continuing, "You're a way better man than he ever was."

"Carol!" Daryl's voice booms from downstairs. Carol jumps up to her feet and runs to the door. She turns putting her finger to her lips to tell Merle to be quiet before slipping out. Merle stood up and walked over to the door putting his ear against it to try and hear what they were talking about. It was no use, he could make out the sounds of their voices but couldn't hear what they were saying. He walks back over and sits on the edge of the bed, resting his elbows on his knees, and placing his face in his hands. A few minutes later Carol slips back into the room and sits next to him slipping her arm around his waist. Merle jerks away and stands up in front of her. "If you ain't with my brother, why are you so afraid of letting him know we're together?  Why didn't you want him to know I was here?"

"Merle it's not that," she says standing with him, "It's just that I, I wanted to know where we stood before I, we, let anyone in on this. What exactly are we, anyway?" Merle stood there looking down into her eyes.   Anger was building but so was something else, something he wasn't sure he wanted to feel, something he had only an inkling of one time before.  Was it love?  He thought he had felt it for Caterina once so long ago, but he really didn't know what love was.  Still doesn't know for sure what love is.  He pushed her away stomping to the door and mumbling as he walked through it. "I don't know."

       He walked out on the porch and took in a deep breath. What was he doing? Why was he feeling like this? He couldn't be in love, Merle Dixon don't fall in love. Merle Dixon doesn't show any kind of feelings if he could help it. "What's wrong with you big brother?" Daryl's voice startled him back out of his thoughts and he straightened himself up and glared at his younger brother. "Nothing!" He snarled as he started to walk off the porch, "Mind your own damn business, geez!" Daryl shrugged and sat back down on the railing of the porch as Michonne walked up the steps. "Hey," he said half smiling.

"Hey yourself Daryl." Michonne tapped him on the shoulder with a light, playful punch. "You don't have anything better to do than to sit here on your ass?" They both laughed as he stood up.

"I didn't until you got here," he held out his hand, "You wanna take a walk somewhere?"

"I just got back from a walk somewhere, no."

      Merle buzzed right by Michonne as he ran off the porch and away from his little brother. He walked to the end of the street and stopped. He looked left, then right and then he sighed deeply. Where was he planning on going? This place is only so big, there are only so many places a man could run off and hide. He just wanted to be alone, he was better when he was alone.  Nobody asking questions he couldn't answer.  Nobody flapping their gums at him.  He looked to the left again and he saw Isabella and Shane rounding the corner. They were holding hands and Shane had moved in front of her. He was walking backward for a second and then they just stopped, Shane leans in and kisses her. Merle started toward them and his anger boiled as his pace quickened. He grabbed Shane by the shoulder and spun him around. He looked Shane right in the eyes and then just released his grip. He looks over at his daughter who looks shocked, angry, and confused all at the same time. Merle offers no explanation or apology instead he turns and runs off in the other direction. "Papá?" He hears Isabella call out to him but he doesn't turn or even slow down.

       He couldn't be mad at Shane, no matter how bad he wanted to punch him in the face, he just couldn't.  The boy loved his little girl, that was obvious. He's proven that he can take care of her, that he will take care of her. He has shown that he can protect her.  Hell, Shane could probably even protect her better than Merle could himself.  He actually liked that about Shane, he actually was starting to like Shane, but he didn't want anyone to know that. Shane wasn't actually a bad guy, he was just a little hotheaded sometimes, but not a bad guy.  Merle himself could get a little hotheaded, that didn't mean he wasn't a good guy.  He glances over and sees Michonne on the porch with Daryl, they are standing face to face, so close together you could barely fit a piece of paper between them and Daryl has a hand on her hip.  Is his baby brother going after Michonne?  Is his baby brother actually making a move? He smiled like a proud father at the thought and then Carol steps outside. His heart begins pounding as she calls out his name. Daryl spins around and steps away from Michonne. Merle caught the look on Daryl's face as he started scratching the back of his head and looked down at his feet. "What's going on Merle?" He looks over at Rick standing beside him now.

"Yeah Papá," Isabella appeared on the other side, "You're acting all weird right now."

"Everybody seems to have some sort of secret. There's stuff going on all of a sudden or has it been going on and I've just been blind to it?" The three of them looked at him confused. "You and him are huddled up whispering and you jump up all nervous and run off when I show up, Daryl acts like I," he stops and looks back at his brother, Michonne, and Carol. As soon as his eyes connect with hers his heart starts pounding again. His view of her is blocked when Isabella steps in front of him. "What about you, Papá? You keep making eyes at Carol but act like you don't want anything to do with her whenever we're all around. You've got your own little secret don't you?" She smiles and then kisses him on the cheek. "It's okay Papá, you don't have to tell me your secrets, I love you anyway." She takes Shane by the hand and leads him back inside the house. Merle watches his daughter in the orange glow of the sunset as she walks into the house that she shares with Shane.