Reasons to Hate the Commute

#1885 The Long-Hair Ban ~ Dh0nzZ_2027

There's a sign on the Doroteo Jose station that's been there for three months now.

LONG-HAIRED PEOPLE NOT ALLOWED ON THIS STATION

UNTIL DECEMBER 2026

PLEASE BEAR WITH US

Beneath this is a graphical illustration of what "long-haired" means. "Long" apparently means anything falling below the shoulders - even weird haircuts that leave even a few strips long, count as "long hair."

In smaller graphics, there are also illustrations of ways to get around it, like tying one's hair up, then wearing bonnets or caps that hide it all. Plus a warning in BIG RED FONT about strands peeking out from under the headgear.

And at the very bottom, there's the Sinauna seal. That's it. No explanations, nothing!

But word gets around fast, and word is that the new contractor that the Sinauna got for the D. Jose station was not completely 100% "aboveboard." Meaning to say, the contractor had a thing for/against long hair. Meaning to say, the station was redesigned specifically to make long-haired people's life hell.

The guards will seriously stop you at the foot of the stairs leading up to the ticket stiles. If you're not wearing your bonnet right, they'll fix your hair for you, or turn you away if you don't want them messing with your person. They give hair ties away for free for the truly "makulit," but caps, hats and bonnets are for sale.

So we all know that Pinoys, male and female, love long hair - curly or kinky or straight, it doesn't matter.

And so I have this friend. Let's call him Samson. He has tattoos and long hair, but apart from that he's not much of a rebel. Before entering Doroteo Jose, he dutifully bound up his hair into a nice knot, and hid it under a knitted bonnet.

The guards thought his preparations were sufficient, and let him through. I was with him at the time, and I double-checked for him. What we didn't know was that he had in fact NOT tied up his hair that well, and after the exertion of climbing up the stairs to the ticket stiles and platform, two long strands escaped from under the bonnet.

So Samson and I waited quietly at the platform for the train to arrive. Then he opened his mouth to speak.

"The wicked wired up witch," he said to me, "which way would we weave into wasting?"

I stared at Samson. My friend stared back at me with a panicked face.

"Dude, what's wrong with you?" I demanded.

"Whither west was when who," he answered.

It took a while before I saw the stray strands. I rolled them up and tucked them under the bonnet quickly, making sure not to expose his long hair to the elements.

The other people on the platform began to stare, as well. I could feel some of them poised to ask if anything was wrong and if they could help.

"I've fixed it for you," I assured my friend. "You're going to be fine."

"Wack wack wack," was his miserable reply.

As soon as the train came, Samson pushed past the line and leapt onto the train first. Even when we'd left Doroteo Jose, he kept tucking his hair into his bonnet nervously. And only opened his mouth now and then, to test if he was still talking weird.

It was a good two stations before he started talking normally again.

Instead of chopping off his long hair, Samson has simply sworn off taking the D. Jose station. He was lucky. I heard of a girl who took off her hat and let her hair hang loose on the platform, in direct defiance of the signage. She simply vanished before she boarded the train. There were plenty of witnesses. And no one reported ever seeing her again.

They say Sinauna contracts are Complicated. I don't know exactly what that means. All I know is that for six months, we have to put up with this silly rule.

But all in all, I guess it's still not as bad as the old days, when there was just ONE contractor for all train stations, and contract disputes meant fixing all broken elevators and escalators literally take a year.

And certainly not as bad as that time when people with eyes lighter than a certain shade of brown were not allowed on the ferry. It was even on the news that ferry ticket sales dropped, then. People wear implants all the time these days, and security guards didn't have special equipment to tell.