Reasons to Hate the Commute

#1674 Those Darn Wormholes; #1690 Fix the Darn Sprays ~ MrBoombastic26

#1674

They're not there anymore, but anyone else remember the wormholes they set up in the MRT and LRT stations? The ones that just pop up somewhere with a hurriedly handwritten cardboard sign saying "To LRT Line 1", "To MRT5," "To Cubao MRT Station" or some such. They were supposed to be a decongestion measure during the adjustment phase when the new trains were still being rolled out.

Yeah. Good thing those are gone, because the damn things didn't really work. Too many people claiming they went in one, and came out another in a place far from their intended destination.

It was sort of funny when you went in one and ended up in a terminal on another island. It was less funny when you went in one and ended up in the SAME TERMINAL at a different time of day. In a different year.

The first time I took the Taft MRT wormhole, hoping to end up at the EDSA Central LRT terminal, I ended up in 1973. I didn't have the presence of mind to jump back through the wormhole as soon as I got out, and after standing dazed in the middle of the highway and causing a massive traffic jam, I leapt back through the wormhole... only to end up at the General Santos Central LRT terminal. At least it was the right year.

I didn't learn my lesson. I kept trying the wormholes, just to save myself a few pesos and the hassle of lining up for the correct trains. One time, I ended up in a place where people had gray skin and eyes that didn't blink. Another time, I ended up in a jeepney bound for Quiapo.

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#1690

So, those sprays at the North Edsa MRT station? In the past, they were used to spray a cool mist onto passengers, for those hot, dry days when people are all packed together on the platform and trains are late and tempers are ablaze. Everyone needs a cool head.

But since the Sinauna took over the MRT, the water inside the sprays has been replaced with... I don't know what, some kind of perfume, I'm guessing. The Sinauna have never had to explain anything. The press release just says it's a "euphoria spray", which emits a substance that causes happy feelings in everyone who comes into contact with it. Kinda like MJ, except the government is adamant that it isn't MJ, or in fact any recreational substance known to man.

Nice, right? More than just cool heads, people now also get happy feelings on the MRT platform. Useful during rush hour. Extremely useful in case trains are delayed.

Trouble is, these sprays are often broken. Sometimes only one part of the platform gets sprayed, while the rest of the platform waits in vain for the low buzz to hit. The people in the other lines end up looking at the laughing, giddy, babbling, singing passengers with envy and a touch of disdain... because geez, what they would give for anything to lower their blood pressure and calm them down right now.

Another problem is, the spray is odorless, colorless, and pretty much undetectable by human senses. So you don't know if it's working or not. Sometimes a person starts giggling, and then the people around this person start giggling along, or else looking at the giggling people strangely. You're not sure if there's a defective euphoria spray trying desperately to function somewhere, or there's just this one good-intentioned person attempting to trigger euphoria in everyone else by acting all crazy.