The Androgynous Beauty of a Boy - On going (Slow update)

Androgynous 9 #little rascal

Razz's POV

"Razz anak ! Gising na! Nanaginip ka nanaman"

I heared my mahmah's sweet voice telling to go back in the reality ,I open my eyes as fast as i could .I'm panting and gasping for air like i was drowning again .I can't breath ,Im scared .Nakita ko si Mamah sa tabi ko na hinahagod ang likod ko .When i saw him i immediately hugged him like there's no tomorrow.I was shaking .Napaginipan ko nanaman sya .My old nightmares came back once again .and i found my self sobbing .

"Razz ,Nadito na si Mahmah ,Tahan na "

My mahmah brushes my hair with his hand .Somehow i was relieved at that moment .Para kasi akong bumalik sa pagkabata .Malaki na ako ,I should man up .Dapat hindi na ako natatakot sa mga Masasamang panaginip .Pero i can't .I can't,cause its already with in me .Habang buhay ko na ata 'tong dadalhin .Gabi gabi ko nalang uulit ang lahat ng mga nangyari sa akin .Ang mga ginawa nya .Even i keep praying ,Na sana mapalitan ng magagandang memory ang lahat nang pangit at ayaw ko nang maalala pa.

"Okay ka na ba ? Anak? ?Do you want ,Na tawagan ko si Dr.Chaves? And--"

"No mahmah ,Im okay ,It's just a simple nightmare ."Sabi ko while panting .Dr.Chaves is my Psychiatrist .Ayoko nang magalala nanaman sakin sila mahmah at papa.I'm always a burden to them .I need to face it alone and heal my self on my own.As soon that mahmah went out of my room .I quickly fixed my self and took a quick bath ,Then after ,I blow dry my hair and fixed it ,in my usually "Bun",Pinagiisipan ko kung papagupitan ko 'tong buhok ko ,Pero sabi ni papa wag nalang daw maganda daw sa akin ang haba ng buhok .Hanggang balikat lang naman ang haba nito.I took my uniform out of my closet .Sinuot ko ito ,Bago ko sinuot ang black shoes ko.Tumingin ako sa salamin saglit ,Para ayusin ang bangs ko ,Enough to hide hide my eyes then I glance over my skin .Look How paler it was now than before .I grabbed my Brown backpack .And take a deep breath before going down to join them for breakfast.

"Oh Razz ,Ang bilis mo naman magbihis"Sabi ni papa.Umupo ako sa tabi ni mama .Inabutan ako ni mama ng Bacon and fried rice sa plato ko .Nag Thank you naman ako kay mama .

"So how's the school Anak ? Tanong ni papa.I tried to create a smile .Even though I know I'm sucks on smilling thing.

"Meron na po akong naging kaibigan duon "Sagot ko.Tinignan ko silang dalawa at ang facial expressions nila .Nakakagulat naman talaga na nagkaroon agad ako ng kaibigan .Though I don't know them yet,I mean ,Hindi ko pa sila gaano kilala.So maybe I'll take short step to know each of them one by one.Hindi ko pa nga sure if i should claim them as my friends ,Cause I feel na hindi ako fit sa group nila .Bricks and Tor were jocks .Then ang tatangkad pa nila .While Aljohn and Gab naman Boy next door type pero matatangkad sila.In short I'm the midget compare to all of them at idagdag mo pa ang feminine side ko ,Magiging tampulan lang sila ng sila ng katatawanan .Considering I'm lucky that they add me on thier group .

"That's great news ,Anak "Sabi ni papa.

"So why dont you invite him dito para makilala rin namin sya "Sabi ni mahmah.Umiling ako .

"Umm ,Not 'Him' po ,'Them' po "I corrected what mahmah said ,They Assuming that i manage to had one friend But i had four big men. .

"Then Another great news anak ,Akala ko Gra-graduate ka na wala man lang nakilalang kaibigan,Cause You always shun your-self to everyone .After that incide--,Well I'm proud of you anak ."Papa tried to avoid him self for bringing that topic up .I know they love to see my old me again. Before that Traggic incident happened .Masayahin at pala kaibigan ako ,Pala ngiti din ako .But after that traumatic event of my life ,Somehow I forgot how to smile again .Para akong nagkaroon ng amnesia at,Nalimutan ko na kung pano maging masaya .Kaya now I'm trying really-really hard to bring back my old self again.Tinignan ko ang mga reaction ulit nila .And i can see na masaya sila para sa akin .Masaya rin ako sa sarili ko na unti-unti na akong nagOopen up .