Pain Without Love (BTS Jungkook Fanfic)

Ten

A/N this chapter contains a suicide attempt, do not read if you don't think you'll be able to handle it.

I tried to cry more, but, nothing seemed to come out. My face was in immense pain, I can't even touch it. I decided to stay up on the roof until school let out, I don't want to see anyone. Everyone can burn for all I care.

Hearing the final bell ring, I got off of the ground and waited around 5 minutes so I know most of everyone would already be gone.

I pulled the door open and walked down the stairs, keeping my head down low.

Suddenly, I heard footsteps running up behind me with a hand being placed on my shoulder, stopping me.

"Lily, where have-"

I turned to face Jungkook, making him stop his sentence. His face turned angry and worried.

"Who the fuck did this!?"

He practically yelled it before I slapped his hand off of me, turning my body to fully face him.

"Don't fucking touch me, you did this to me. Because of you, your girlfriend or whatever jumped me. Twice now!"

He stared blankly at me while I yelled at him.

"Go fuck yourself, Jungkook."

I walked away from him as he yelled at me.

"I don't give a fuck, you were just a whore to me to fuck around with!"

Tears welled in my eyes as his words burned into my mind.

"You're just like your mother! A fucking slut!"

A few tears left my eyes as I finally made my way outside of the school and far away from him.

Maybe he's right, though..

Shaking my head, I pushed the thought away. You're better than her.

Are you?

Are you really?

Pausing in the middle of the sidewalk, I let a few tears leave my eyes as I thought about the dirty things I've done. Quickly wiping my eyes, I continued walking down the sidewalk. I pushed my emotions to the back of my mind, my body feeling numb.

Knock knock

I softly knocked on the door and yelled my name.

"Mom, its Lily."

She scrambled to open the door, only to stop when she got sight of my face.

"Ew fuck, what the hell happened to you?"

Completely emotionless, I responded.

"A couple girls jumped me."

She sighed loudly as she chuckled to herself.

"Well, don't fuck with people and you won't get hit."

Getting increasingly annoyed, I looked past her and into the house.

"Can I come in?"

She smirked to herself before waving me off.

"Go to the park or whatever, someone is coming over and all you'd be is an eye sore."

Now extremely pissed, I screamed at her.

"Are you fucking serious! You can't even let your own daughter in the fucking house just because you want to be a damn whore!-"

Before I could finish she back handed me, screaming back.

"Look, I didn't even want to fucking have you! You were a fucking accident, either way you do not fucking talk to me like that you little bitch!"

Completely mortified with what she said, I ran off the porch and towards the park ignoring her calls for me.

Do it.

Shaking my head, running sloppily to the park, I wiped the tears from my cheeks with the sleeves on my arms. My vision started to blur from the extensive crying I was doing when I finally reached the park.

Throwing my bag, I slumped down on the swing and shoved my face into my hands, sobbing loudly.

Just do it.

My mind went completely blank as I rushed towards my school bag, throwing everything out, looking for one thing in particular.

Finally finding the item, I basically ripped it out of my bag, holding it in my hand. I stared at the scissors for a minute, contemplating.

Go ahead, end it here.

I squeezed my hand around them before getting off the ground and sitting back in the swings, rocking back and forth staring at the scissors.

You're a mistake, you know you want to. Everyone else wants you dead anyways, no one will care.

Tears flowing harshly down my face, I pulled up my sleeve, exposing the thin skin on my wrist.

There you go. You'll feel better after there isn't a pulse anymore.

Opening up the blade, I positioned it against my wrist, pushing lightly down.

Don't be a chicken, DO IT.

Shaking my head, I pushed it harshly down into my skin and sliding it to the side, letting blood drip fast down the side.

"Lily.."

I quickly turned my head, seeing someone I didn't expect.

Jungkook.

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Sometimes I scare myself with what I write. This chapter is really fucked up, I apologize.

I really have no commentary for it.. ALSO, that suga FF is up, if anyone wasn't aware. Read if you'd like.

Stay tuned for the next chapter---