ACQUAINTANCE (Book #3 - EMAILS TO DAN)

5 November 2022

Knocks pattered against my door. It felt odd, because I haven't had a visitor in awhile, though I knew it was Phil. He was coming over for lunch, but it would probably be a simple meal considering I don't have much in the fridge. I was excited, yet I tried not to show it.

I opened the door and viewed Phil in a maroon coat he fitted in greatly. "Phil!" I greeted, opening my arms to him for a hug. He hugged back and had a smile on his face as I had the same. "Damn, you must be cold."

"It's November, so not much to expect," he shrugged. I nodded, agreeing. It began to rain and droplets of water raged against the window in the den. "I guess I got here at the right time."

• • •

"Dan!" Phil shouted. I peered my head from the doorway as I washed my hands after using the toilet.

"Yes?"

"The lights went out!"

"Damn it," I muttered. "Okay!" The rain has been coming down harder than it was when Phil arrived. It was strange, because it didn't rain as hard as it usually does, though it was never really a problem. I quickly made my way to the dinning area where he had already lit a candle.

"I found a match," he said. I nodded - meaning it was fine. He sat down on a chair as I sat beside him. I had placed sandwiches I had made before the lights went out, thankfully. We began to consume ourselves in the food.

It was nice to have a meal with someone for once.

"Didn't this happen to us once?" I remembered.

"Oh, yeah! It was the first week we moved into the flat, right?"

"I think so," I nodded. "It rained hard that night. We ended up having move into my room, because you didn't want to be alone in yours or in the den."

"It was too dark in the den!"

"I know," I smiled. "You ended up falling asleep in my bed after you tried reading a book."

"Well, you can't really read in the dark, can you?" Phil joked. I shook my head and took a bite into my sandwich again. He looked over at me and we both had the same idea in mind.

"Grab the crisps." He quickly did so as I blew out the candle and headed towards my room. Quiet giggles filled the hallway leading up to my room. I left the door wide open for Phil before he walked in with a bag of crisps. He sat down crisscross beside me, continuing to eat his food.

I stuffed the last few crisps from the table in my mouth. Looking over at Phil, he saw me and laughed. "You're still hungry?" He asked, noticing I already finished my sandwich.

"Um, when am I not?"

"Yup. Still the same Dan." He giggled as I did along with him, trying to not swallow the crisps and choke. Phil took a sip of ribena I had, but it wasn't cold.

We both sat on my bedroom floor and talked about anything that came to mind. I took this chance to glance at what he was wearing: a white shirt with small red and yellow squares scattered, black jeans, and colourful socks.

"I like your outfit," I complimented. He's worn it several times years ago and I always liked it, though I never really wore a lot of colour.

"Thank you," he smiled. I nodded and opened a bottle of water, taking a few sips, and putting the cap back on. "This is nice," Phil admitted.

"It is," I agreed. For once it wasn't awkward silence - it was comfortable silence and I was greatly thankful. "I miss it."

"Same."

"Phil, I hope you know I never intended to hurt you." I meant what I said. He may have never believed it through the years - or even now - but I did.

"It's okay, Dan. Besides, new memories will make up for it."

"It won't," I murmured.

"It will."

"I hurt you a lot, Phil. You cried so much when I was gone."

"And look at us right now," he said. "I'm here with you." I gave him a slight smile. No matter how much he as right, I knew for a fact I would never make it up to him. As I said in previous times, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. Out of everyone, I cared about him the most, though I never admitted it.

"I care about you," I said.

"I know," Phil approved of my words. "I do, too." He moved closer to me, giving me a hug and doing the tight squeeze thing he does. I hugged him back, mentally thinking that I wasn't ready to let go at the moment, but I let go. He looked at me after the hug. I felt lost in his eyes as I finally really looked at them. 

I wish- I thought.

Then lights turned back on.

And Phil had to go.