Dan,
It's been a year since we moved out of the flat. We've grown apart. I miss our friendship so much. I don't know what happened. I've texted and called, but all I get is voicemail.
Do you know how it feels like to have your best friend ignore you? All I want to know is what I did or what I said.
It's been a year, Dan. All I want is an answer.
Is that too much to ask?
From your old flatmate,
Phil Lester
It hurt reading that.
I hadn't talked to Phil for almost a year.
After the fight, I ignored him. I thought ignoring him would make him move on with his life and he'd mentally thank himself I did so in the future. But here I was, reading his email to me.
A few tears streamed down my face, hitting my phone screen. "Fuck," I muttered. "Why did you do this, Phil?" I asked to no one. Not even him, of course.
Phil would come across my mind every day. I tried to forget about him sometimes, but knowing him for as long as I have, it was impossible.
I closed the Mail app, hoping Phil would never email me again. I glanced at my phone notifications.
Missed calls: Phil (58)
It has been increasing for months, but it stayed at 58 for a month.
He'd call me every several days, but I'd just let it go to voicemail. I couldn't drag him into my life again or drag me into his own. No matter how much I missed him and wished he was in my presence, I ignored him, and I felt like an asshole for it.
Oh, who am I kidding? I am an asshole.
I kicked Phil out of my flat when he was just pointing out the obvious to me: me being me.
I hated the thought of our argument. I even hated it more when I thought about him. "Out of everyone, why Phil?" I asked to the air.
For what seemed like forever, I couldn't stand him anymore. He didn't do anything that was a problem. It was him that was the general problem.
I was the broken pieces and he was the glue. He would always put me back together and I enjoyed it too much. So much to the point where I just couldn't get enough of him in my sight, his voice, or him. Just him.
Everything about him was amazing to me.
But I couldn't let a mess like me ruin what we had.
YOU ARE READING
ACQUAINTANCE (Book #3 - EMAILS TO DAN)
Hayran Kurguacquaintance [uh-kweyn-tns] noun -a person known to one, but usually not a close friend. After years of Dan and Phil not talking since they moved out of their flat, they start to talk. Dan will try to make it up to Phil for ignoring him in the begi...
