ACQUAINTANCE (Book #3 - EMAILS TO DAN)

3 September 2016

Scattered around the den, there were boxes filled with our items in separate places. It seemed odd.

It felt like we just moved in.

I physically felt the lump of sadness in me. It felt even worse knowing Phil had the same feeling as me. He didn't have to tell me, it was noticeable. He would walk around, draggingly. He didn't want to do much, but neither did I. We mostly stayed in our rooms. If we were in the same room, it would either be during dinner or in the den while watching TV.

Looking over at Phil, he set his last box. He looked up at me as he knelt down next to his boxes. Seeing his eyes, I felt an ache in me with my lips parting.

He wanted to cry.

I didn't want to see the sight I knew that was about to take place, so I looked away. It pained me, I knew that, even if I didn't want to admit it. He was my best friend for years. We've gone through a lot that was unimaginable for anyone besides us.

"I'm done," he said, standing up. I nodded, not wanting to say anything. We've been quiet to each other lately - wanting to avoid the topic about moving out, but we knew it was going to happen.

And it was happening today.

"The moving van should be here soon," he broke the silence. Nodding again, I stood up, looking back at him slowly from the ground. Phil scoffed slightly, resulting him walking away. I heard a sniffle.

I knew he was crying.

The worst part was I knew it was because of me.

I sighed and followed him as he walked to his room. "Phil-"

"No, Dan!"

"I'm sorry."

"No! You don't even care!" He turned to me while I stood at his doorway. "You know I don't want to do this, so why do you?"

"You're turning thirty next year! Do you really want to be living with your best friend still?"

"Yes!" Phil admitted. "I do, Dan! I really do! Why can't you see that?" I looked down, not knowing what to say. He sat on his uncovered mattress that would be picked up later, along with the bed frame. "I'm going to miss you," he murmured. It hurt. What he said hurt me, though I know I was probably hurting him more. However, I would miss him, too. He and I felt the same way about this situation, but I kept my feelings inside. It would hurt him if I didn't show it; it was currently happening, but it felt as if it was for the best or he'd end up convincing me to live with him still.

I slowly walked over to him - beside his bed - and sat down next to him. Phil's face was buried in his hands and his legs were brought close to him. Tears were by the crease of his eyes.

My heart began to ache even more. This day was never imaginable, and it hurt as it happened.

"Don't cry, please," I said. "I don't want you to cry."