ACQUAINTANCE (Book #3 - EMAILS TO DAN)

31 December 2022

I was sick and tired it.

Hiding from him.

The task was simple for people. It'd be midnight and everyone has their loved one by their side, kissing them as fireworks went off.

But I had none of that, and I was for sure I wouldn't get it this year as always.

Looking over at Phil, he had a 2023 hat on. He looked adorable as ever. In his hand, he had champagne, drinking a few sips every-so-often to save up when the clock strikes midnight.

Like me, he didn't have anyone to be with. And it seemed awkward as Chris has been flirting with PJ the whole time, but Phil being Phil, he didn't know Chris was madly in love with him by the looks of it. In my view, I could've noticed if Chris didn't tell me, though he did and I haven't been around for awhile.

I made this mess. It is my fault, and if I didn't leave, I could've told him. But me being me, I fucking didn't. To this day, I still didn't know whether I should open my mouth, but I, for sure, am not.

I shook my head at the thought. Why the hell would I? I'd make things worst. And I couldn't just do that again. Fucking up, then fucking up again. That seemed like something I would do, knowing me. With that, telling him out of the ordinary? That wasn't like me, though it wouldn't be surprised if I did. "So be it," I told myself. I'm not telling him.

Though that didn't help.

Chris looked over at me, noticing my leg repeatedly jumping from thinking. "Dan, help me with the champagne?" He gestured towards PJ's kitchen, making me groan, but I stood up anyways, going to help him. "Just do it," he said once we walked in.

"Do what?"

"Stop being a little shit, Dan."

I rolled my eyes. "You and PJ are the same."

"It's luck. But real luck would be me kissing him at midnight, if he kisses back, since he's told me countless of times that he's straight."

"Is he the type of guy to mind another guy kissing him?" I asked.

"Don't think so. We've almost in video." Chris shrugged. "But the question is, why aren't you?"

"Chris, you may love PJ, but I don't love Phil-"

"Enough with this denial," he said. "It's getting annoying and you know yourself too damn well to even say that, let's admit." I sighed, looking away at the ground as he opened another bottle of champagne. "You already fucked up enough. The last thing you want to do is fuck up yourself again by not telling him." With that, he walked back into the den.

"Dan!" Phil shouted from the corridor. "It's going to be midnight!"

I nodded, following Chris's trail to where the three were at. During that time, they counted down from 10, with just 5 seconds left.

"Five!" They shouted. I looked over at Phil, noticing how not only his drink was sparkling, but his eyes as well.

"Four!" I approached Phil as I stood beside him.

"Three!" Chris looked at PJ with eyes filled with love.

"Two!" He smiled at him, most likely thinking that this was it and he's going to kiss me.

"One!" I took my glass of champagne, noticing there wasn't much left.

"Happy New Year!" Chris didn't hesitate to kiss PJ, and it was noticeable PJ was kissing back. It lasted for second that caught PJ by surprise, but in the end, he told Chris he was, in fact, madly in love with him as well.

Why was it so simple for Chris?

"Happy New Year," I told Phil. He smiled, clinking his glass with mine before taking a sip as I did the same. After doing so, I sat back on the sofa, looking up at Phil as he was having a great time while I wasn't.

Didn't get it this year, I thought to myself once again. As always.