When I listen to music I relax I stop thinking about the things that made me want to cry or hit something. It blocks out my mind. I rarely listen to the lyrics sometimes I just need music to stop me from thinking. Because I don't like thinking. Every time I think, my thoughts turn sour and listening to music shuts me up. And I'd rather be numb than depressed and angry. Music makes living just a little bit easier. Its hard for me to think of other reasons that I am happy other than the internet but music is definitely on that list. I love listening to music. Even when the music is sad it makes me feel good. It makes me feel less alone because that's how I feel all the fucking time. ALONE. Forever listening to the annoying sound of my own thoughts and heartbeats that won't ever stop. it hurts not being numb to the world. It hurts so much that I'd rather be dead right now. But I swear to god if I was listening to music right now as I right this my stomach probably wouldn't be aching and my hands wouldn't be trembling I probably would be less poetic though.
