Your Dirty Little Secret // J.G

Chapter Six

From Jack:
hey babygirl! sorry you had to leave so soon, that was sammys fault. anyway, when can i next see you again?xx

No matter how much I try to ignore that text, I can't stop rereading it. Sammy's words echo around my head as I hold my phone in my hand, my eyes scanning it over and over again. Why is it so hard for me to say I won't see him again? Or better still, to press the lock button and forget I ever received it? I promised Sam, I can't do this to him, he'd be so upset with me and nothing is worth that.

To Jack:
At school I guess x

I hesitate before pressing send but I do and a wave of relief washes over me instantly. I've done it, I may have not said it in the way Sam would've wanted me to but I haven't arranged anything with Jack, he doesn't expect anymore of me and that's okay.

From Jack:
looking forward to it already baby ;) x

I bite my lip, I swear that's all I've done since last night but he's literally driving me crazy and I've barely spent any time with him. I never imagined that he'd want to speak to me as much as he has let alone kiss me and I can't believe that there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. I choose not to reply to Jack though, there's no point in even trying because he's so infuriatingly charming that he'd have me wrapped around his finger again in a matter of minutes.

*Monday*

Today hasn't been so bad, I'd been dreading it since Saturday but I haven't seen Jack at all - thank God for him not having any classes with me on Mondays. My stomach ties in knots as the bell rings for lunch though, I have to see Jack now because he sits with with us and I can only imagine how much Sammy will have his eye on me. I've heard that Nate's here today though, something that rarely happens lately because he'd rather be off doing his own thing so I am sort of excited to see him. I try to push thoughts of Jack out of my brain as I enter the cafeteria, my eyes immediately focusing on our usual table; only Sam, Nate and Leila are sat down. At least there's no Jack yet.

As I approach the table, Nate is the only one facing in my direction and I give him a small wave to which he returns with a smile of his face. I have missed that guy. I decide to slide into a seat next to him, giving him a quick side hug as a way to welcome him and great Sam and Leila too. Nate throws his arm over my shoulder, pulling me in close to him; something which no one really considers to be anything important because he tends to be like that most of the time. But I can't focus on the conversation at the table, my eyes are constantly on the doorway to the cafeteria, each new person that enters my heart stops through fear of it being Jack. I can't see him today. I can't do this. And I know Sam knows what's up because he keeps turning to look at me, I ignore it though because this isn't his problem.

The Jacks finally enter the room and I feel my whole body go into panic mode. But I don't move, I just freeze slightly as Gilinsky takes his seat opposite me and Johnson next to me. I let my eyes glance up at Jack and he throws me a small smile, the kind that pretty much had me at his feet the other day but I don't return it, partly because Sammy's watching and also because my body is so tense I feel as though I physically can't.

"You okay, babe?" Nate mutters in concern, obviously feeling my body tense despite the fact that his arm is no longer around but I'm still pressed close to him. I simply nod my head with a small hum but out of the corner of my eye, I see Jack's jaw clench at the name Nate called me and I don't know whether I should feel happy that he's jealous or confused why it's suddenly bothering him now after years of it not mattering.