Your Dirty Little Secret // J.G

Chapter Eight

It's the next day and I'm glad I don't have to be in school until break time on Tuesdays because it lets me have a lie-in, even if it just half an hour it makes a difference. I got home from Jack's late-ish last night, about 9:30 which wouldn't normally be too bad for me but I had work to do that I hadn't even started. I eventually got to bed around 11pm but by that time my mind was racing. Racing with thoughts about what people, most importantly Sam would say about this huge hickey on my neck, thoughts about how Jack would be around me and also the fact that I told Jack about Sam trying to keep us apart - he didn't press on the issue at all yesterday but I'm sure as hell that he hasn't just forgotten. I take one last glance in the mirror, rolling my eyes at my sad attempt to cover the mark on my neck. A bit of foundation and a sweater with a higher-than-average neckline did nothing to help me.

I get to school just as break is about to begin and as I approach the table we usually sit at I'm greeted by the familiar faces of Nate Maloley and Jack Johnson. Thank God Sammy wasn't the first person I saw. I wave in their direction as I approach them, adjusting the collar of my jumper before I'm with them just to make sure that it's not obvious. Nate opens his arms for a hug once I'm close enough and I lean into him to give him one before hugging Johnson as well. This is going good, I think to myself as I pull away from Johnson, I've already hugged them both and neither have noticed; maybe I will make it through today. Except my hopes are ruined when I look at Nate again, his head is tilted to the side and his eyes are squinted in concentration as he looks at me before his mouth turns up into a huge smile, that kind that accentuates those lovely dimples of his.

"Damn Lee!" He shouts enthusiastically, his eyes fixed on my neck. "The fuck did that to you? Did you get laid? Tell me you got laid." I roll my eyes at his excitement, my cheeks blushing a deep red and Johnson furrows his eyebrows. Until he sees it too and the recognition takes over his features, a grin practically identical to Nate's forms on his face as he takes the first seat followed by Nate and I. I pull the collar of my jumper up further before turning to look at them, the embarrassment still clear on my face as the two continue to laugh.

"It's about time, yeah? Who was it?" Johnson finally chips in, his eyes gleaming with intrigue as he leans across the table, still trying to look at my neck. These boys act like they've never seen a hickey before I think as I roll my eyes for what feels like the millionth time already. I shrug my shoulders at his question which causes Nate to clap his hands in excitement. I must admit, as much as they're annoying the hell out of my right now, they are still so cute when they're giddy like this; especially Nate, he's worse than a small child. "You don't even know who it was? Damn babe, you got crazier since I left." He exclaims and I shake my head helplessly, why I thought being friends with a group of boys was as good idea I'll never know. It's times like these that I actually wish Natalie and Leila were around more to help me out but they rarely have time to hang out these days.

"No, I know who it was." My words come out sharp and I try to look as pissed off as I can but it's so hard to not smile slightly when those two are acting the way there are. "Just please can we shut up about it?" I plead with them, desperately wanting this moment to have dissipated before Sam gets here.

"Nah, not till you tell us who it was. Oh! Was it that dude from Math who sits behind you, I bet it was." Johnson's words come out fast and in a jumble and all I can do is shake my head aggressively with my face scrunched up to tell him no, it definitely was not the 'dude from Math'. "Then who was it then?"

"Who was what?" I hear the voice come from behind me, that voice that I've grown all too familiar with these past few days. Jack. My whole body feels light just being in his presence and I can't help but smile fondly as he sits beside me, his hand automatically making it's way to my thigh beneath the table and squeezing. Fuck, he's being like this in school? Anyone could see, his fucking girlfriend could see us. But I stay relaxed, it's fine because Jack's here and he keeps me calm.

"Leah's got a hickey on her neck and she won't tell us who gave her it." Nate sounds like a teenage girl gossiping with her friends at this point and I can feel Jack squeeze my thigh again at his words. I turn to look at him briefly and he looks smug, not in an obvious way though, more like because I knew he had a reason to be smug I could tell but others wouldn't have been able to tell. I reach my hand under the table place mine on his, locking our fingers together over my leg. It feels so good to be able to hold his hand like this, even if it is hidden from everyone else.

"Just lay off it guys, it's none of your business." He mutters, his eyes looking away from them and I tighten my hand around his as a way to show him my thanks. Johnson and Nate shut up after that, obviously quite bummed that Gilinsky didn't join them in their excitement which in any normal situation he would have. But they won't suspect anything, they'll probably think he's had another fight with Eliza. Nate simply shrugs and strikes up another conversation with Johnson, Gilinsky pulls out his phone and I can see he's texting Eliza which makes my heart drop slightly but what more did I expect? And then Sam arrives and I let go of Jack's hand so fast I didn't even know it was possible. Jack shoots me a sideways glance of confusion but he gets it, taking his hand off of me and continuing to fiddle around on his phone.

"Wassup guys." Sam's voice oozes with happiness, it always seems to do that. It's like he's an actual ray of sunshine and he lights up everything when he speaks. He takes a seat next to Nate, opposite Gilinsky and I feel myself starting to panic again. Why did he have to sit facing me? Why not next to me? I turn my head to the table, letting my hair fall to cover my face in the hopes that no one will try get my attention and I can just get through these last fifteen minutes of break without any talk about hickies and such. But I'm not that lucky and soon enough Sam is addressing me while the others talk - minus Gilinsky who is still texting, does he ever put that damn thing down? "Lee, my mom wants to know if you can come over for dinner this weekend, says she hasn't seen you in ages. Is that cool?" I was supposed to see Jack this weekend, we made plans last night and I really didn't want to make anymore right in front of his face, that would piss him off without a doubt. 

"I, uh, I'll have to check with my parents but yeah, should be good." My voice comes out nervous, I didn't want to straight up say no to him because his mom is sweet and I haven't actually seen his family in a while which is strange because I spend so much time over there anyway. But I don't think Sam notices what I even said because he's looking at me, my neck to be precise. Here it comes, the questions and everyone's eyes will be on me again. He licks his lips slightly and I can't tell if that's genuinely because they're dry or because he's annoyed. Most likely the latter. He doesn't speak though, in fact, he simply looks away and stares into the distance. Hm, this is new, I think to myself.

Soon enough the bell to signal the end of break rings and everyone gets up from their table. Nate and Johnson are so caught up in their conversation that they walk to class together and I'm sure Gilinsky has gone to see Eliza and I'm just about to see if Sammy's waited for me before I feel a vibration in my pocket. I pull out my phone to see a text from Jack.

From Jack:

baby get out of class and come to room D7 in about 15 minutes xxx

I feel a smile playing on my lips as I read the text, that was the empty classroom we were in yesterday and I figure maybe Jack wants to finish where we left off that make-out session. I was just about to type out a reply before my phone gets snatched out from my hands. I feel my heart sink to the pit of my stomach as my eyes raise to meet Sam, his gaze fixed on my screen and a look of pure disappointment in his eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing, Sam? Give me my phone back." I can't believe I just let him take that. And now he's seen it. He fucking knows. I can feel my head spin and I feel faint but it's okay, it's fine I can cover this up. Just a few words and it'll all be okay again. Except I don't get chance to because he's shoved my phone back into my hands, and he gives me a look that breaks my heart. He looks angry and upset and just wholeheartedly disappointed all in one stare and I can't believe I lied to my best friend. I fucked up.

"Forget about dinner this weekend." And I don't even get time to apologise before he turns and walks away, not even looking back as I feel myself start to cry. Fuck going to meet Jack, fuck even being here in the first place. I have to get home.